4 mistakes to avoid when having your first threesome

Ok, let’s start with a small recap. So far we have covered the important things you need to know about planning your first threesome. Now let’s uncover the the most common mistakes people make when they have their first threesome.

4 Common Mistakes Most People Make:

They Had No Plan

Although planning may seem like the boring route for sex, and spontaneity the best way to make things exciting, Dan Savage would argue otherwise. Especially when it comes to threesomes. In his article, Etiquette for Threesomes, Dan argues that “spontaneity is overrated” and that “the best sex often requires advance planning; the more people involved, or props involved, the more planning required.” And this is not to say that threesomes don’t ever “just happen.” Instead, it just means that most threesomes do need a bit of planning ahead when it comes to finding the right people, establishing ground rules, etc.

They Forgot to Talk to Each Other

We mentioned in a past post, that you need good communication and trust to build a meaningful relationship. The same goes if you are trying to have a hot and intimate threesome. Intimacy doesn’t just show up out of nowhere. It takes some solid communication skills to build it. Talk to the people you are about to sleep with. Listen to what they have to say about their fears and desires and figure out together what is appropriate and what isn’t.

They Didn’t Establish Boundaries

A continuation of the above mistake, all hell can break loose when you don’t figure out what the ground rules and boundaries are with everyone before hand. Consent, safe words, protection—these are all topics that should be covered first. We realize that talking about sex isn’t something that everyone feels comfortable with but let’s be serious for a second. If you are planning on having a threesome, learning how to talk about and express your sexual needs is a must. Misunderstandings in the moment can ruin any sexual experience and nobody wants that.

They Were Selfish

Yes everyone needs to be selfish at times, and stick to their boundaries and yes having a threesome is also about getting your sexual needs met. But here’s the thing, it’s hot to be a good lover. It’s even hotter to be a good lover to two people at the same time. Lead by example. Be GGG.

As you can see, the most common mistakes people make are fairly easy to avoid. The better at communicating you are, the better chances your expectations will match what actually happens. Now with this all in mind, go forth and have some fun.