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Jul 1, 2019

Unconventional Relationships: The Throuple

Feeld’s Cathy Keen, her husband and their partner join Jada Pinkett Smith’s Red Table Talk for an episode on dating as a ‘throuple’ and ethical non-monogamy.

With ethical non-monogamy becoming more visible in mainstream media, it was an honour to receive an invite to discuss the unconventional relationship I share with my husband, Thomas Keen, and girlfriend, Nicole Everett, on Red Table Talk.

What is Red Table Talk?

Red Table Talk is an American web television chat show hosted by Jada Pinkett Smith, 47, Willow Smith, 18, and Adrienne Banfield-Norris, 65, who is Jada’s mother – three generations of women discussing candid and often controversial subjects with family, friends and other guests.

Known for her gentle approach to sensitive subjects, Jada created the conditions for our most truthful interview to date. Her relaxed but robust marriage to Will Smith is famous for being based upon honesty, and has been a longstanding source of inspiration for maintaining an open ground between the three of us, no matter how difficult that may be.

Jada's Experience with Consensual Non-Monogamy 

Jada shared her earliest experience with consensual non-monogamy – family friends who lived together for many years in a 3-way relationship – which echoed our relationship of husband, wife and additional female partner all living together under one roof.

Willow admitted she had been researching polyamory and had seen posts about us as a ‘throuple’ on Instagram. Her interest in multi-partner relationships developed because she is 'equally attracted to men and women' and building meaningful bonds with more than one person at a time feels more natural to her than monogamy.

Adrienne, who was definitely less convinced by the idea of sharing partners, said she did understand how the closeness between Nicole and I made it clear that there were benefits to a multi-partner relationship that go beyond sex.

‘Jada, Willow and Adrienne’s opinions provided interesting context for our throuple relationship. The generational gap was apparent with each having very different ideas about our set-up and whether they believed it could work long-term’

– Cathy Keen

We discussed in detail how our throuple setup works and how good communication skills and diplomacy are essential to healthy non-monogamous relationships.

Working with the Feeld community has shown me that many people desire relationships that revolve around honest communication, and that feeling supported by others is a major factor in how successful those relationships are.

There is also a noticeable trend amongst younger users, who appear to have less faith in the nuclear family model and who are looking for an alternative to monogamy. Willow's interest in polyamory reflects this and shows that the Gen Z prioritises honest and open communication above monogamy in their meaningful relationships.

Cathy, Thomas and Nicole appear alongside Jada, Willow and Adrienne

Cathy, Thomas and Nicole appear alongside Jada, Willow and Adrienne

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