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Aug 19, 2022

A Week on Feeld...in Greece

How does a dating app like Feeld fit into your day-to-day life? We’re taking a closer look at how real humans from our community use Feeld over the course of one week - whether that’s back-to-back dates, verbal foreplay or a reflective time on one's own.

Our new A Week on Feeld series asks anonymous Feeld members to record a week of using the app – whether that’s back-to-back dates, long chats and verbal foreplay, or a reflective time on one's own. This week, a pansexual woman (28) in an open relationship travels alone in Greece. 


Monday 

It’s the night before I go on holiday for a few weeks without my partner, and I’m excited, but feeling a little sad about being away from him. We decide to go to a local seafood restaurant to say goodbye and end up splurging on quite a lot of small plates and wine. We’ve been in a CNM relationship for a few months – he’s experienced in the scene, and I’m not, so things like him casually telling me that I should have a cute holiday romance if I feel like it are still pretty new to me. Not that I’m complaining. We agree that we don’t need to tell each other about dates when we’re away unless there’s a safety or emotional issue (e.g. unprotected sex, a negative experience, catching feelings.) A tipsy cab ride home, then bed.


Tuesday 

Up bright and early to head to the airport, and I manage to sleep the whole way on the plane. I’m in Greece! It’s an island I’ve never been to before and the weather is perfect. I enjoy feeling like I’m in Mamma Mia as I wander around the main town in golden light, occasionally stopping to people-watch and have a beer. I’m feeling really into being alone for the first time in ages – things have been busy, so taking time to pause and follow my own whims is amazing. 

A couple who look vaguely familiar pass me and I make some slightly embarrassing eye contact as I try to figure out if I know them. Turns out I don’t. A holiday romance is not on my mind this evening – it’s just good to have some solitude. I opt instead for a leisurely walk along the seafront, before sitting on my hotel room balcony with a book (until the mosquitoes drive me in), and getting an early night.


Wednesday 

I decide today is all about the beach, taking a long and slightly mistimed walk to get there. By the time I get to the beach itself I’m too hot to read, and just end up people-watching. A stunning girl about my age with long, mermaidy hair and tattoos keeps running in and out of the sea. There are so many beautiful people in the world! My mind drifts back to the last conversation me and my partner had, and I wonder whether he’ll take the opportunity to date while I’m away – probably. Dating on holiday feels easier, without everything being so close to home, and trying to fit new people into a schedule that’s already crazy.

Sometime in the afternoon, slightly sun-dazed, starting to miss human interaction and thinking about what to do in the evening, I decide to check out what Feeld is like here. I set my geographic preferences pretty wide and end up connecting with a few interesting people – including someone very attractive who is a bit far away, but he seems too interesting not to at least have a chat with. I wait for him to message me first for a while before giving in and saying “Hi!” – not my most original moment, I admit, but I’m too warm to think of anything smarter. It works though and we start chatting. It turns out he’s on a neighboring island, which is slightly annoying, until he offers to show me around sometime.


Thursday 

I wake up to a Ping from the couple I clocked a few days ago! Their pics are very outdoorsy and wholesome, sort of what I expected from them. I wonder what their holiday vibe is…hiking, biking, with a few threesomes thrown in? I’m curious to know more, and flattered, but not interested enough to really pursue it beyond a couple of messages that quickly fizzle out. I picture them in their holiday apartment or hotel, scrolling through Feeld together over coffee and orange juice, planning dates in between fixing their agenda for the day. I find the idea quite affectionate and even touching. 

Island Boy, on the other hand, is a different matter. We’re deep in conversation and seem to have a lot in common. He hints that the ferry ride over to him is very scenic, and that there are some deserted beaches with a lot of privacy. I take the hint and suggest a visit on Saturday, which he enthusiastically agrees to.

In the meantime, I check out a beach on my own island. It’s really busy, so I head to the nude sunbathing area which is more remote and quieter. Soon a Dutch man about my age takes up residence next to me, and we get chatting. It’s sort of weird flirting when you’re totally naked. He asks me out for a drink, and I say a non-committal maybe. Back at the apartment I look through Feeld again and wonder if he’s on there, but don’t see him. My lack of real disappointment tells me I made the right choice. So instead of taking him up on his date offer I ring my partner and we have a nice catch up about the first few days apart. It’s lovely to hear his voice, and to picture him having a good time. It makes me feel a tiny bit homesick.


Friday 

A friend I haven’t seen in ages is on holiday on the same island too, so we make plans to hang out in the evening. He is also on Feeld, and it’s interesting to hear about his experiences using it as a straight man. I found it hard to send the first message to Island Boy, for example, whereas he wouldn’t think twice. We enjoy some freshly fried fish and wine, and discuss what’s going on with us – a recent break-up for him, a fairly new relationship for me. He is intrigued by the fact that I’m getting a ferry to my date – I guess it is a fairly grand gesture for a first date, but I meant to check out the island anyway. Excuses, excuses. I share details of Island Boy with him for safety reasons, and we agree to definitely catch up when we’re back, which I can guarantee we’ll manage not to do for about six months.


Saturday 

Wake up excited for my little island adventure! Getting to go on lots of first dates is a highlight of non-monogamy for me. It’s a beautiful day and the ride over is, indeed, very scenic. On the way I text with Island Boy about ideas for what we could do with our day. All the ideas – okay, most of them – are very wholesome. I feel a little nervous, but when we meet we immediately click. We have a coffee in a bustling cafe on the marina, and decide eventually to take a hike to a deserted beach, and set up our towels. It’s a really beautiful, low-key day. Mamma Mia vibes intensify when we take a swim and he kisses me in the water. He’s not a person I would normally meet in my day-to-day life, but he’s incredibly interesting and I’m very glad that we have met. I say a silent thank you to the dual miracles of technology and non-monogamy. 


Sunday 

Feeling great after my adorable date yesterday with Island Boy – there’s a real spring in my step as I go about my day. I head to the market to buy some fresh groceries, and stop off for breakfast and coffee at a little cafe on the way back, letting the sound of other people’s conversations wash over me. I’m tired from the late ferry journey back, but it’s worth it.

We agreed to stay in touch and try to hang out if we’re ever on the same landmass again. As he’s Canadian and I’m in the UK it’s pretty unlikely, but you never know. It doesn’t have to be more than what it was, anyway: a day of genuine connection and fun with a warm and beautiful person. 

Before, the day after a date would always be quite an anxious time – getting out of the mindset of always having to ask what something is and defining its terms has been something of a journey for me. But I don’t find myself checking my phone or feeling like I’ve given something away. Instead I hire a bike and take a long, aimless ride in the heat, taking in the beauty of the increasingly-remote landscape.

As I ride, I feel a surge of affection for my partner for the generosity we allow each other in this way, and how it creates some amazing experiences for both of us. Feeling compersion is still a challenge for me, but for the first time I really understand that I would want my partner to feel like this too, and I would be happy for them. As the day goes on and I enjoy keeping my own agenda of biking, walking, and swimming, I don’t really feel like looking for another date. I do, however, feel very lucky and cared for, even though I’m alone. 



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