How to keep an open mind when exploring new sexual territory

November 13, 2016

The wonderful thing about the current state of dating is that it’s becoming less taboo to talk about your sexual preferences. This means that not only can you find more people into whatever you’re into, but you will also undoubtedly come across new kinks that you might not have known you were even into before.

Treat kinks like zebra stripes. Every person is into different things and no two kinks are the same.

While it may seem obvious to some, every person has different preferences—even the most sexually experienced people discover new things they’re into. When you’re meeting new people and getting to know them, be patient and open with yourself and others. This may be your first threesome or your 100th, but keep in mind that everyone is at a different point in their sexual experimentation. which brings us to my next and most important point.

What not to do when talking about kinks and sexual preferences

We have all been in this situation. Whether it was when we were younger or when we were out of our comfort zone, we have all had that moment when a knee-jerk reaction to something new offends or hurts someone.

Picture this. You have just found the perfect person or couple and you are meeting them for the first time. You feel excited and a bit nervous. You meet them for a drink and get chatting. You find them super attractive and charming. The conversation is going well, your chat game is on point and then you dive into what you each like. They mention a specific fantasy of theirs that you have never heard of. You ask them to explain it and you suddenly and irreversibly have “foot in mouth syndrome” and say something that totally turns them off. Whether it was a negative reaction or an offensive comment, you totally change the vibe of the conversation. Perhaps you ruined the moment, perhaps they feel wounded and the night ends on a disappointing note.

Don't let this happen!

You might have your opinions or boundaries about certain types of kinks and fantasies, but when someone is telling you about theirs, even if you aren’t into it, listen to them and be respectful. If it’s something you don’t want to be a part of, then politely decline.

The key is to never shame. Never. We get enough shame in public as it is for having different skin colors, or body types, or sexual preferences. We feel shame at some point in our lives for something that other people judge us for. We don’t need to be shaming each other in the bedroom. So keep it sex positive, respectful and fun.