How to Organise an Orgy

March 5, 2017
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Maybe it’s your first time, or maybe you’re an orgy veteran who’s finally ready to run the show. Either way, throwing an orgy takes work and can actually be pretty complicated — think ground rules and curating the right crew—but the payoff is worth it. By hosting, you have ultimate control—you get to come up with the orgy of your dreams/fantasies, and then make it happen. But, you’ll have to do the work of organizing the event before you get to play. We’ve created a helpful how-to guide to get you in the mood.

Who to Invite

First things first—what kind of sex party are you planning to host? Is the orgy for everyone, or is it for a particular group of people (gay/hetero/pan)? Or couples only? BDSM-oriented or more vanilla play? If you trip over the word “orgy” you can host it as a “play party” instead—it’s becoming the more common term, although it usually means there’s going to be some kink involved, so make sure you’re clear when you’re sending out invitations.

Those of you who are already part of a swinging community might already have a guest list in mind, while single folks (particularly those who are new to the sex party scene) might not have a clue who to invite. Open minded dating-apps like Feeld can be helpful for finding potential party-goers (both couples and singles), especially if you haven’t made friends in the community yet.

Don’t be afraid to be to be selective when sending out invitations. Parties with tickets usually only extend invites to people who are already “in the scene” and it’s not uncommon to vet attendees by gender or relationship status. You also want to be super careful about who knows who—awkward ex run-ins are definitely a buzzkill. Gender ratios are important for hetero open-play parties and if you’re feeling guilty about rejecting potential party-goers based on superficial markers, don’t—they can always come next time.

Finding the Perfect Place to Host

Beginners will find it easiest to throw their first orgy in a smaller location. If you are comfortable and familiar with your guests, hosting at home can be an excellent option. Just make sure not to invite too many people (there needs to be enough room for everyone to “do it”) and that there is more than one room to play in. Having a variety of options encourages people to participate. Keep in mind that surfaces can and will get wet ;) You might want to ask guests to bring extra blankets/sheets/etc.

If you’re already well-versed in orgy-throwing or have enough cred to host a larger party, you might choose to rent out a posh penthouse or nightclub. There are plenty of event space rentals and domestic pop-up spaces that don't cost a fortune. Just make sure to stick to open-minded venues or underground spots—no one wants to be sent home by the cops while they’re in the middle of a ménage à trois.

Setting the Ground Rules

When you’re sending out the invitations, you’ll want to inform guests about what they can expect at the party. Like any party, you’ll need to include the basics like hours/location/dress code. But there are a few other special considerations as well. Some important things to include:

Basic safety measures surrounding consent (SSC or RACK)

Expectations of respect (for both partygoers and the venue)

Safe-sex policies

Guidelines around the use of illicit drugs and/or alcohol

Guidelines around phones, pictures or recording

Terms of engagement (if you stay you play)

The type of guests who will be attending (orientation, preferences, etc.),

Any special themes or guests/performances

It’s also a good idea to come up with a universal safe-word for the orgy, especially if you plan on getting into a little BDSM. RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) means everyone gets to decide what level of risk they’re comfortable with. Basically, you need to make sure that everyone is aware of exactly what they’re getting into.

Setting the Mood

Once you’ve found your venue, you need to figure out how you’re going to set the mood. This means making sure the lights aren’t too bright, that there is enough space to move around without interrupting others and that there’s access to everything you need: namely condoms, lube and light beverages. Sex toys are another fun addition.

Once you’re all set up it’s good to decide on a game plan for progressing the evening. For example, starting off with quieter, more relaxing music while guests arrive gives people the chance to converse and get to know each other. Later on, you can dim the lights and crank the volume to signal that play is beginning. Having trouble picking the right tunes? Try our Spotify playlist.

Breaking the Ice

Sometimes just setting the mood isn’t enough to get people going, especially if you have a lot of newbies at your party. As the host, it’s ultimately your responsibility to make sure people are comfortable, which might mean being the first to take the plunge. It’s a good idea to have at least one attendee you can count on to set the example and help you get the party started.

Party games are another fun way to get people involved. Play an adult version of spin the bottle—pick an activity out of a hat first (oral sex, spanking, spinner’s choice, you get the idea). There are also games made for the occasion, like Dare Ring.

Organizing an orgy takes work, but getting to play out your fantasies is definitely worth it. Have fun! ;)