Just like a little dirty talk in the bedroom, sexting is performative. It only gets really good when you let your guard down—and it might take a little time to get those fingers flowing. A few nerve-wracking instant messages might be stressful at first but they could be all you need to ramp up your sex life online and IRL.
What is Sexting, Anyway?
According to the Oxford Dictionary (it’s official, people!), sexting is “the sending of sexually explicit photographs or messages via mobile phone.” This definition is already dated for those of us who like to get dirty in the DM, but whether you’re using iMessage, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat or a dating app, sexting is fun. You just need to get the hang of it.
Rule Number One: There Are No Rules
When it comes to sexting, people have a lot of ideas of what you can and can’t do. Things like sending unsolicited dick pics or mid-day boner-inducing messages are usually a no-go, but then again, there’s something sexy about breaking the rules. There’s nothing like checking your texts at the bank and feeling the sudden rush of blood to your face (or nether regions) when a fleshy mass pops up on your screen. It’s cute to be caught off guard, and as they say: A little anxiety makes the heart grow fonder...
Keep Calm and Sext On
The biggest fear people have when they are sexting is that they won’t be able to come up with a good response. Instead of panicking over what to say next, relax and take your time. A good way to get those creative juices flowing is to think about what turns YOU on. Chances are it will work for them, too.
Corny Can be Cute
Even writers get a little cliche when they sext. It’s hard not to blurt out how horny you are when that’s how you’re feeling. So, instead of cringing when she hits you with “I can’t wait 2 feel your hard dick inside me,” send her back something nice. You’ve got to get comfortable before you get kinky—but don’t worry, it won’t take long.
Everyone loves a bedtime story. The best sexts are the ones that start slow, ramping up after a few back and forths and then barreling in one after another. When your sexting starts with a scenario (I want you come to my office for a “power lunch”) it’s easy to keep the conversation flowing. You might know where it’s going (a little hanky panky on the desk) but that makes it easier to experiment along the way. Who knows? It might even lead to some real life role play.
Can’t Get a Sext Back?
Okay, so you sent someone a nude selfie and all they responded with was “cute.” Don’t freak out. It could be that their libido’s on the down low or that they’re out to lunch with Grandma. Instead of firing back with a bunch of “why don’t u want me” texts, try out a cool “thinking of you.” Chances are that you will get the response you’re looking for a little later. If not, you can always try someone else.
Sexting can be stressful when you’re first starting out, but it’s all part of the fun. After all, it doesn’t have to be serious, it’s only a little wordplay.