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Jul 2, 2021

How to stay connected to partners during and post-lockdown

Because the pandemic isn't quite over yet

By Abby Moss

Over the past year, Covid has threatened to call time on dating. But as we’ve weathered the storms of multiple international lockdowns and huge stretches of time apart from others, it feels like we need a little reeducation on how to connect with people, despite the restrictions. So whether you’ve been forced apart from your partner(s) - and remain apart - or been holed up a home with them for what feels like a bit too long, read on as we explain how to keep the fires burning.

Use Feeld to meet like-minded humans all over the world

One silver lining of social distancing is that physical distance has become obsolete. When you don’t need to worry about the logistics of meeting up in person, you’re free to explore further afield than before.

You can now ‘travel’ to 13 cities around the world on Feeld, from Paris to Los Angeles. There are also three virtual locations to hang out in. If you’re looking for threeway partners, try the Remote Trios core. Joining a core is free and easy. Go to the profile menu → Search Settings → Feeld Core Location.

Text like a pro

If you’re apart from your partners right or even just want to play it safe with new people you meet on Feeld, now it’s a great time to up your sexting game. Gigi Engle has some advice for messaging in her book All The Fucking Mistakes, A Guide To Sex, Love and Life. “Don’t take yourself too seriously,” says Gigi. “If it’s not fun, you’re not going to enjoy doing it. Texting is a good place to explore things outside of your box.”

Basically, get creative. “You’re essentially challenging yourself to come up with creative ways to describe things and increase your aptitude for metaphor. Messaging takes practice. The more you do it, the less uncomfortable it gets - just like masturbating, blow jobs, sex, and everything else.”

Try some new toys

Whether you’re distanced from someone, yet to meet them, or living under the same roof, sex toys can be a great way to reignite the spark, or keep things interesting even when you’re separated by miles.

We-Vibe and Satisfyer both have some awesome app-enabled toys which are a really fun way to connect with a partner from anywhere in the world. WeVibe’s Synch vibrator offers dual stimulation and the app allows one person to control the intensity and mode of the vibrations (including creating your own vibration modes, or synching the vibrations to a favourite song). It can also be worn during penetration, making it a great option for a couple looking to virtually involve a third in their playtime.

Satisfyer also have a great range of app-enabled toys and some, such as the fabulous Curvy 3 +, include air-pulse stimulation (a different form of clitoral stimulation that uses air currents instead of vibrations). They’re also a little less expensive than the We-Vibe range, but still great quality, whisper quiet and body safe.

Arrange a virtual hook up, join a virtual play party or take a class

Virtual playtimes can be a great way to explore your desires in a safe and comfortable environment.

Around the world, sex-positive spaces have been adapting to the pandemic by offering online experiences and classes. Killing Kittens, the female-led sex club based in London, have a range of online workshops from Transgender Sex 101 to Wrestling for Lovers. Awesome independent sex boutique Sh! Women’s Emporium also have a range of super friendly and accessible classes, their Light My Fire Course is aimed at couples looking to reinvigorate their sex lives - great for those who’ve felt the stress of the pandemic to be a bit of a dampener.

At Feeld, we’ve been offering some tips for setting up a virtual threeway, including how to meet the right person or people, and how to set the scene

If you’re feeling a bit more adventurous, why not take a ‘trip’ across the Atlantic and visit Manhattan based sex club NSFW, who have hustled their way through this pandemic and now offer a whole host of online sex parties. Join online and be as involved (or not) as you like - at NSFW, consent is king and their play parties are mega relaxed and inclusive. You can check out their etiquette rules online before logging on (hint: don’t turn up in your PJs).

Whatever you do, remember to be safe, grounded and consensual. The pandemic has been a strange time for everyone, but respect and honesty are still vital whether you’re in an established relationship or looking for a casual hook up. 

Abby Moss is a freelance journalist specialising in sex, relationships, and feminism. She lives in London with her partner and their growing animal menagerie, and can be found on Instagram @abbyrmoss

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