Bedroom submissions from Feeld members.
Ben Mora, host of the cult gameshow Interior Motives, sneaks a look inside the bedrooms of three Feeld members to guess their age, sexuality, gender, and location.
You may expect me to say that this is a bisexual, cisgendered woman’s room. The color drenching? Not jewel-toned, but black. The plushie? A tattered bunny from childhood, red-lit and leering. The Virgin Mary? She’s crying black tears. All twists on well-known themes, much like bisexuality.
I was right there with you—until I considered the staging. And staging is an inclination of gay cis men. The open laptop and book, the vape, the lube just barely visible on the bottom of the nightstand: all props introduced into the frame to invite speculation and narrative. And gay men love narratives, especially ones about themselves, and especially if they control it. Don’t let the poor decision-making that went into decorating this room fool you. This is a highly controlled gay male environment. Take, for example, the adornments above the headboard, which combine two of gay men’s biggest tells: dismembered busts and perfect spacing.
He got what he wanted, as this photo has passed my desk for speculation, but I’ll leave him with this thought. If he hadn’t taken this after his third Negroni, the picture would be perfectly aligned. Instead there’s a slight tilt to it all: The offensive uncovered sconces, HomeGoods headboard, and his-and-his light switches are all slightly lifted on the right. A small flaw that I hope haunts him, as this room will haunt me.
“Well, I think we found him.”
I understand that Feeld is an app where couples often “look for a third.” Well, I think we found him. And if you’re interested, I can assure you that he is too, seeing as he quite literally cannot sleep in his own bed. His first-gen Zohran flier, his Japanese (?) wrestling poster, and his ironic Hawaiian shirts all point towards an apartment in the Straggot Corridor of Brooklyn. I’m sure the Puerto Rican family who used to live here is overjoyed that he’s using it to relisten to Cum Town episodes, drink milk straight from the carton, and refuse to trim his mustache.
That being said, I may be mixing signals between “straggot” and “genuine bisexual.” The straggots of 2026 have dropped the fun-but-brain-dead energy of this room in favor of more adult fixtures: CB2, menswear, salaried work, wives. But I think this guy has never moved past the 2019 model, meaning he’s a good-natured skater who idolizes The Big Lebowski and always discloses his herpes status. All indicators that signal a specific type of bisexual man to me, the real fifty-fifty bisexual. And that I have to respect.
“This can’t be a lesbian’s dwelling as it’s hostile to lesbians’ most coveted sensibility: coziness.”
This is a hard one, in part due to the fact that this image may have been taken using a potato, which in essence is lesbian to me, so let’s start there. The paisley duvet, the stock images of animals, and the unknown, threatening devices on the nightstand all read lesbian. Aside from that, this can’t be a lesbian’s dwelling as it’s hostile to lesbians’ most coveted sensibility: coziness. I’m surprised that the overhead light reflecting off those stark white walls hasn’t generated enough ambient energy to set the place ablaze. While I feel confident that this could be a Swedish psychiatric hospital, I’m stumped on gender and sexuality.
I’ll say what I always say when I have no clue: asexual and nonbinary.
Answers:
- Bisexual, Cis Woman, 32, Los Angeles
- Heterosexual, Cis Man, 31, NYC
- Heterosexual, Cis Man, 58, Stirling
