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Take Me Out

Creative Direction byRomany Williams

January 24th, 2025

To go on a date can mean many things. A stranger at a café; a friend at lunch; arranging something more intimate, after dark. Regardless of the scenario, the crucial act of preparing for a date—whether romantic, or platonic, or some other secret third thing—often goes undocumented.

A uniquely personal and emotional ritual, the quiet preparation can matter as much as the main event itself. While dating usually takes place in public, outside of the home, its most pivotal mechanics take place privately, behind closed doors. We were left wondering: what are your pre-date rituals?

In order to shed light on the rituals of the pre-date realm, we visited six people at home in Toronto as they prepared for a date. Mel Racho arranged a date with someone new via Feeld, taking the time to decompress with some coffee and a book before heading out. Married couple Beth and Justin put on a record and lit some incense for a special date night at home. Fashion designer Tyrell Harriott caught up on Tik Tok and sought out the perfect fit for a date with a close friend. Even private moments can become powerful ways to connect with ourselves as part of connecting to each other. From universal pre-date activities like scrutinizing outfit choices, grooming, or having a drink, each person demonstrated that confidence and vulnerability can coincide.

Sarah Selvanayagam

“The pre-date fantasy world is the perfect liminal space where the person exists, but you haven't met them yet. I’m a big daydreamer and I think that’s one of the deep pleasures in the anticipation of meeting someone. It’s such an intimate solo experience and I definitely indulge in that.”—Sarah

“Specifically for online dating, there’s so much that’s unknown. I like to pull a tarot card before a date as an anchor and a guide for my energy.”—Sarah

“If I’m having a really loud inner monologue, I loop someone else into my thoughts as a way to disarm the situation and give myself more room to breathe.”—Sarah

Mel Racho

“I’m always nervous going into a date, but having a ritual helps with my anxiety. You meet a lot of people through online dating and there’s a lot of unknown, but what I can control is the vibe I give off on the date. I always put effort into getting ready to let the person know that I respect not only their time, but mine too.”—Mel

Beth Zener + Justin Ming Yong

“One of the nice things about preparing to go on a date with my husband is I am really dressing for myself. I’m not trying to impress him, it’s about what I feel excited to wear.”—Beth

“Lighting incense, playing records, or sharing some nice quality tea are ways that we like to connect and wind down together.”—Beth 

“We always end up brushing our teeth together. Or we subconsciously dress the same and I refuse to be a matching couple, so avoiding that has unintentionally become part of our date night ritual.”—Beth

“He’s an artist and I work for a non-profit, so we don’t make a lot of money. For us, it comes down to ‘oh I got paid this week,’ let’s treat ourselves to a nice meal.”—Beth

Chels Addae

“I’m that weirdo that’s in the mirror practicing conversations with a person. I try to anticipate what they say and how I would respond. If I’m nervous meeting someone I always tell them, it breaks the ice and you can learn a lot about them by sharing how you feel.”—Chels

“When I’m in my own space I’m chill, but once I leave I get nervous. Sometimes I’m overthinking or too in my head. My pre-date ritual is putting on some R&B, drinking tea, lighting incense, and eating some snacks.”—Chels

“I think less about my outfit, and more about what jewelry to wear. My friend gave me a pair of green gummy bear earrings that are my favorite. I always wear them on dates, they make me feel most like myself and are a good conversation starter.”—Chels

Tyrell Harriott

“I work in fashion so my outfit is always the first thing I focus on. I want to be stylish, but I don’t want to scare the person. I usually try to cater my outfit to mirror the other person, I love the psychological aspect of fashion in that way. You can’t be wearing Margiela Tabis on a first date! Unless it’s a fashion person, you have to wait until like, the 3rd date for Tabis.”—Tyrell

“I listen to a lot of Tik Toks before going out. I always have it going in the background while I’m grooming, it calms me.”—Tyrell“I’m a homebody and I work from home, so sometimes when I go out, it will be the first person I’ve spoken to in days, which can make me a little bit anxious, but I know as soon as I get there it’s fun.”—Tyrell

Photography: Isabel Okoro

Creative Direction: Romany Williams

Shoot Coordinator: Summer Ruddock-Ellis

Talent: Beth Zener & Justin Ming Yong, Sarah Selvanayagam, Chels Addae, Mel Racho, Tyrell Harriott

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