Are We Loving Wrong? Feeld's Exploration of Relationship Anarchy

LONDON, UK, June 3, 2025 –Feeld, the dating app for the curious, today releases its third State of Dating report, "Relearning Love in an Age of Loneliness" authored in partnership with esteemed sex educator and author Ruby Rare (The Non-Monogamy Playbook). This report examines the burgeoning philosophy and practice of Relationship Anarchy (RA) as a radical response to our current loneliness epidemic.

Feeld's latest report challenges one of modern love's most deeply-rooted assumptions: Why must romantic relationships sit at the top of our emotional hierarchy? This adherence to tradition burdens romantic love with the impossible task of asking one partner to fulfill all our emotional needs—often at the cost of our broader connections and deeper, personal well-being.

But a significant shift is already happening. State of Dating Vol. III illuminates the growing trend and egalitarian alternative of Relationship Anarchy. This often misunderstood relationship model offers a decentralized, non-hierarchical approach to relationships that champions a love that's grounded in freedom, consent and radical equality. Utilizing the latest data from Feeld Members alongside a global survey led by Censuswide, expert Ruby Rare explores the growing community of Relationship Anarchists who are reimagining intimacy on their own terms, and dismantling loneliness in the process.

Key Findings:

1. More Popular Than You Think:

   • After learning the RA definition, 1 in 5 (20%) non-Feeld respondents realized that they practice RA
   • With Feeld Members, that increased to 1 in 2 (50%)
   • 64% of Feeld Members of all demographics were more likely to have an existing awareness of RA compared to non-Feeld users

2. The Future of Love is Non-Hierarchical: Awareness and/or practicing of RA is highest among people in younger demographics who identify as LGBTQIA+ and non-cis, and have experience with ENM, demonstrating a move towards more diverse connection models.

   • Over 60% of Feeld Members of every age group, except Boomers, have heard of RA
   • Surveyed trans, non-binary and gender diverse people (Censuswide survey) are up to 2x more likely to have practiced relationship anarchy than cis men and cis women
   • Pansexual Members on Feeld have the highest likelihood to be a relationship anarchist—1.4x more likely than all other sexualities
   • People in ENM relationships are 2.3 to 3.2x more likely than those in monogamous relationships to practice/have heard of RA

3. The True Pillars of RA:

   Practitioners emphasize crucial foundations: self-awareness (212% more frequently mentioned), boundaries (+25%), maturity (+45%), empathy (+112%), honesty (+112%), and respect (+49%)

4. The Hard Work of Navigating Boundaries: The path towards non-prescriptive love isn't without its challenges.

   • Feeld Members practicing Relationship Anarchy find negotiating relationship boundaries a staggering 536% more challenging to do than non-RA practitioners
   • Non-practioners were 46% more likely to find it easier to resolve conflicts that arise, highlighting the complexities of dismantling ingrained hierarchies

5. Leveled Love as an Antidote to Loneliness: Relationship anarchists on Feeld and off report more freedom, less loneliness, and are more likely to value connections that are deep and broad. RA practitioners are:

   • 50% more likely to find that a diverse network of connections combats loneliness
   • 31% more likely to shape relationships to meet their needs
   • 20% more likely to have a strong support system

Context Analysis:

In an era of increasing social fragmentation and widespread loneliness, the report reveals a growing shift toward relational equality and bucking the normalized systems, especially among younger and marginalized communities. These individuals are actively dismantling the traditional hierarchy that prioritizes romantic love above all other forms of connection, acknowledging that intimacy and support can flourish beyond the romantic dyad.

"The diverse and open-minded community of Feeld Members inspires regular exploration of the multifaceted realities of relationships today,” shared Feeld Data Analyst, L. Nichols. “What is striking is that Relationship Anarchy is practiced by so many people on and off Feeld who don’t even realize it until they hear the definition, demonstrating significantly higher openness to RA than we realized. Their lived experiences reveal both the universal patterns and individual nuances by which people navigate this growing trend.”

Implications for the Future:

Author Ruby Rare states, "Question the norm: Is it truly serving you? The most radical act we can take in our relationships is to question the 'shoulds.' There's no relationship blueprint etched in stone. Your connections are yours to design, based on your unique needs and desires, not a default setting you inherited."

State of Dating Vol. III provides the clarity and data needed to recognize Relationship Anarchy as a significant and intentional relationship model, challenging outdated assumptions about intimacy.

Read the full report to explore the findings in more detail. Explore our exclusive survey infographics containing further insights, stats and analysis by the Feeld Data team.

About Feeld:

Feeld is the dating app for the curious; those open to experiencing people and relationships in new ways. Founded in 2014 by Ana Kirova and Dimo Trifonov after questioning the status quo of their own relationship, they were inspired to challenge cultural scripts around gender, sexuality, and dating on a global scale. Feeld’s ever-evolving platform creates a safer space online and IRL for people to explore their curiosities outside of existing blueprints and find meaningful human connections of all kinds. Feeld has led with a progressive mindset since its inception, pioneering a remote-first work model with a globally distributed team. With over 20 sexuality and gender options in-app and growing, Feeld is a space for the experiences that make us feel alive and most intimately connected to ourselves and others. Learn more at www.feeld.co.

Instagram: @feeldco

About Ruby Rare:

Ruby is an award-winning sex and relationships educator. She’s spent the past decade educating people of all ages, encouraging others to shake off inherited shame through knowledge, empowerment, and celebration. 

Ruby earned her sexual health stripes at Brook, the UK’s leading sexual health charity, where she taught relationships and sex education (RSE) in schools across the country, ran free condoms schemes across five London boroughs, and was the Project Manager for Let’s Talk. Period: a national period equity campaign. Ruby is now a proud ambassador for the charity. In 2019 Ruby began documenting her work on Instagram, and her followers resonated with her flavour of sexy enthusiasm and inclusive education. Since then, Ruby has written two books: Sex Ed: A Guide for Adults (2020), and The Non-Monogamy Playbook (2025), hosted E4’s Sex Rated, and is the co-host of The Ins and Outs podcast. You can find out more about her work at rubyrare.co.uk 

Instagram: @rubyrare