Our pleasure matters

“I’m no longer apologetic for my very existence. I walk with pride, I feel exceptionally fortunate, grateful to whatever force cracked my egg before it was too late, I was saved from drowning.”

—-Lucy Sante, I Heard Her Call My Name: A Memoir of Transition

There’s a lot of talk about trans people, but rarely are trans people allowed to speak for themselves. Here, we’ve surveyed Feeld’s trans community to discuss what “trans visibility” means, and what form joy takes in 2025. 

“Trans visibility” is a broad term with many interpretations. What does it mean to you? How do you experience the idea of being visible as a trans person in your world?

“For me, trans visibility means the world being aware of trans people and respecting them, just as much as cis people. As a trans girl who's into sports, gaming, art, and IT, is going to college for CompSci, and is putting herself out there for people to see, I think I should not live in fear of people shunning me, but rather appreciate me for being myself, just like they would with cis guys and girls 🌈💜” 

“Just treat me like any other girl at the coffee shop.”

“Wow! I think being visible is about being true to yourself. Especially the parts people don’t see. Joy, being one of them. I think when a lot of people think of trans visibility, we think of the heartbreak that trans people experience; we experience it a lot. There is also a lot of joy we find. I think that joy is just as important if not more so. We are also capable of having that happy ending.”

“The trans right to be a big booty bitch.”

“It means being present in our shared culture, our intertwined lives, and not being treated as an exception.”

“It means that I can be genuine to myself, my needs, and have people around me witness my fullest self. I didn’t have many role models, mentors, or mirrors growing up and the first trans person in the media I remember seeing was in a documentary that looked at the interviewees as specimens, focusing on their medical, social, and legal transitions, despite the fact that they were whole people. Having positive trans representations, or ‘possibility models’ as Laverne Cox has said, that are full people beyond their medicalization and being spoken for by cisgender on-lookers, is essential to ensuring that we are actually seen as people, not as sexualized objects.”

“It usually means people never actually learn who I am. They tend to make a lot of assumptions based off what they've seen in the news.”

“I move through the world as I am, unapologetically. I don't bother myself too much about whether I ’pass’ as cis, because that isn't my goal. I like that I am trans, and I am proud to be trans. I have fought harder than most people to be exactly who I am becoming, and I want that to be known and seen when people meet me and spend time with me.”

“Being visible right now is a dangerous thing in some places for many of us. Living our lives unabashedly is resistance.”

“I love being visible! I think the anti-trans discourse is reserved for people who’ve never met trans people. A vast majority of the people I meet are not only eager to engage with me, but are very respectful. The more trans people we have shining their light, the faster this anti-trans rhetoric will end.”

What do you wish was more visible about the experience of being trans?

“I wish that as a trans person, I would have access to more trans friendly and aware staff—in my country, the lack of accommodation and respect for trans people in big and important fields, such as the medical and legal field is astounding. I sometimes seem to know more about the topic at hand than the specialist, which is concerning.”

“The amount of time and effort that goes into thinking about any new change in someone's transition. Very rarely are decisions actually made without us first questioning and doubting ourselves. By [the] time someone else is told about it, we have already given it quite a bit of thought. Days, weeks, months, sometimes years before we tell anyone.”

“How honest and difficult this journey is, and how being trans is not a choice or a trend. We just are, and it takes seemingly impossible effort to realize that for ourselves. How much joy there is with being our authentic selves, and how others can experience that too. Joy is not exclusive to trans folx. But trans joy is fantastic!”

“Our humanity, our existence as fact, and the freeing mindset of truly understanding gender as a construct. Tbh, I wish the government would stop talking about us and stop using us as a target for people's frustrations.”

“That we're normal. Normal doesn’t mean everyone is the same. Normal is a population distribution and it's normal to have trans people in a population. We are your colleagues, your friends, your supporters, your families.”

“That we are just everyday beautiful people and not secrets to be kept or a taboo to be conquered.”

“The humanity of transness. We aren’t fetishes or kinks or sex objects. We aren’t something to be tried or explored. We are entire human beings with our own desires, and our pleasure matters too.”

“I wish people saw how differently the established genders are treated and how, when you appear non-binary, people switch back and forth between treating you as male or female. None of that is necessary and I wish people saw the futility of holding on to two set genders.”

How do you celebrate your experience of being trans, and the experience of your trans friends?

“I celebrate our wins by loving on each other. So often I think we are pitted against each other—as if there’s only room for so many of us or the right type of trans person. When in reality, the trans experience is so nuanced and unique to each and every one of us and I think there is real beauty in that.”

“Being sexy, being weird, being fucking awesome.”

“Fighting fascism together.”

“We mostly just do normal things like hiking, and movies. We are really physical with each other though, so the movie time cuddle puddles are epic.”

“I celebrate all the little things! I ask about my friends’ transitions. I love little updates and feel so proud and happy for them when I get good news. Oftentimes a shopping trip is in order for a great outfit to show off their development.”

“Keep fighting for a better world for all trans people and also make time for peace & joy with the people in my life who I love and make me feel safe.”

“I get dressed up cute, I fill up on shared food and I move my body—dancing, running, wrestling, or anything that gets me connected to my nervous system. I do this surrounded by other queer weirdos who are all doing the same thing. We just try our best to live our joyous lives and feel every moment in our bodies.”

“I celebrate the experience of being trans by choosing to live my life as I truly am, no matter what dangers or bigotry or persecutions are thrown at me.”