The Feeld Guide to Celibacy
Sophie Mackintosh on the new appeal of abstention and redefining sexual autonomy
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Throughout media and culture, an ancient term is making a queer comeback—and it's basically one big lovefest for women.
If you use the internet, you might’ve noticed the term “sapphic” having a moment. And if your response has been something akin to “uh, what?” you’re not the only one.
The term itself is some 300 years old—deriving from the name of the ancient Greek poet and original lover girl, Sappho, who lived between 610-570 B.C. Over time, “sapphic” has morphed and evolved in its definition. But in contemporary culture, it’s used to talk about queer love and desire between women, as well as others who were assigned female at birth (AFAB).
So, it’s not entirely straightforward to define sapphic. It’s a term people embrace in different ways. But broadly speaking, it relates to queer relationships or desire between women of any orientation—be they lesbian, bisexual, or pansexual, say—and can include others who were assigned female at birth (AFAB), like non-binary people and trans men, too.
“Sapphic,” then, has been posed as an answer to the limited language we have for women and AFAB people who love and desire women: when “queer” feels too broad, but “lesbian” isn’t accurate. (“WLW”—a slang acronym for women who love women—is perhaps the closest thing to a synonym for “sapphic,” but this too falls short for some.)
Some people consider “sapphic” part of their sexual identity. It’s often used as an adjective to describe things: art, literature, relationships, vibes. And for many, it has specific connotations. There’s a romanticism to it, evoking deep, heady feelings for women—not least due to the term’s origins. Like we said, “sapphic” derives from the name of the ancient Greek poet, Sappho, whose sensual and erotic verses from circa 600 B.C. remain one of the earliest cultural expressions of queer female yearning.
“I identify with the term because it’s of Greek origin,” says Lana, a 26-year-old bisexual, when we asked our network what the term means to them. “It also sounds and feels mystical and beautiful like a sapphire gem…I’m smitten when someone uses [it].”
“I identify as pansexual, but I was very late to the party with the whole ‘sapphic’ thing,” says Fi, 29, on the other hand. “I might use it now to talk about queer books or films or culture, but it’s not a label I’d use to describe myself.”
A lesbian is a woman who is sexually and/or romantically attracted primarily to other women. Interestingly, the word’s origins are closely connected to those of “sapphic”—it comes from the name of the Greek island Lesbos, where Sappho was born.
Whereas "sapphic,” like we said, encompasses women and AFAB people of all queer sexualities. (So you could say, all lesbians are included under the sapphic umbrella, but not all those under the sapphic umbrella are lesbians.)
While “lesbian” is primarily a sexual identity, too, “sapphic” can be for some—but it’s not always. In an informal survey of 112 queer people conducted by Autostraddle, a majority of people reported using “sapphic” mainly to describe things (again, like art, films, relationships), compared to fewer people who use it as an orientation or identity category for individuals.
Sure. These days, sapphic can be understood as a kind of umbrella term.
For a long time, it was used synonymously with “lesbian”—back when that was the only way to refer to, and understand, women loving women. But, as we've covered, now we have language for bisexual, pansexual, and other queer women, both cis and trans. There are asexual women who are romantically attracted to other women; non-binary people who were assigned female at birth who also love and desire women. The list goes on.
So today, “sapphic” is a rich and welcoming term encompassing attraction between all of these people. (But again, not all individuals will label themselves as sapphic; the word might also be used in cultural contexts to “categorize” the love and desire between them, or capture its vibe.)
The only people that don’t fall under the sapphic umbrella are cis men, who have their own umbrella term. “Achillean” could be be understood as the “opposite” of sapphic, in that it encompasses men of all sexualities (be they gay, bi, pan, etc) who love and desire other men.
Today, we might speak of any number of sapphic romances in the public eye, insofar as they’re between women or AFAB people of different sexualities. This year alone we’ve seen hard launches from Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris, Reneé Rapp and Towa Bird, and Zoe Lister-Jones and Sammi Cohen, to name a few.
Not to mention the serious moment sapphic love is having in media and pop culture in 2024. Chappell Roan and Billie Eilish are out here dominating music charts with sensual songs like “Red Wine Supernova” and “LUNCH.” Queer films like Emma Seligman’s Bottoms and Rose Glass’s Love Lies Bleeding have graced our mainstream movie theaters. And women’s sports are more popular than ever, shining a light on many sapphic relationships among athletes.
Sapphic relationships go back a long way, too. Sappho’s own dalliances, according to ancient legend, might be some of the earliest examples: between 630–c. 570 B.C., she is said to have had a string of affairs with women, before supposedly throwing herself off a cliff when jilted by a ferryman called Phaon.
Then there’s Virginia Woolf and her lover Vita Sackville-West—two more of literature’s favorite historical queers. In one of her earliest diary entries about her, Woolf writes that Sackville-West is "a pronounced Sapphist, and may […] have an eye on me, old though I am." Their famous letter exchanges, beginning in 1922 and continuing through to Woolf’s own suicide in 1941, are rife with sapphic love and longing: “I like your energy. I love your legs. I long to see you,” Virginia wrote to Vita in 1927. (One of the first explicitly sapphic novels, Djuna Barnes’ Nightwood, was published a few years later in 1936).
Ultimately, like much in the queer world, sapphic love eludes fixed parameters or binaries. And, as the term continues to gain popularity, there are open questions around its usage and meaning that have yet to find consensus. Like, how specific does the criteria for being “sapphic” get? Can it refer to all love and desire that simply doesn't involve cis men? Must it denote sexual attraction between women and AFAB people, or can it be more inclusive of other kinds of love? It’s all up for discussion.
For now, “sapphic” is a term different people can connect with in their own personal way. So as always, take what resonates with you. Leave what doesn’t. And continue exploring queer identities, concepts, and terminology over in Feeld’s Glossary.
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