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Dec 29, 2021

Feeld Notes: The Day I met my best friend through a threesome

In this special series for Feeld, Nella tells us about the unexpected best friend she made through the app

I had been on Feeld for six months when I matched with a particular guy. He was looking for someone to have a threesome with him and his girlfriend. This was going to be my first threesome and also my first time having sex with a woman. Around the same time I'd also matched with a woman called Zara on Feeld. We instantly hit it off and our conversation was going really well.

I started telling her about my upcoming threesome and how nervous but excited I was about being intimate with a woman for the first time. Hind gave me some advice and told me to just enjoy it.

The day before the threesome I got a message from the guy I’d been talking to saying that there was a change of plan and his girlfriend was no longer up for the threesome. However, he'd found someone else who was. ‘I think you've already been speaking to her,’ he said and showed me a picture of Zara.

I felt even more excited and much less nervous knowing it would be with her.

Zara met me on the way to our rendezvous and we walked to the guy's flat to have our threesome. I've had a few threesomes since then but that first one still remains my favourite. The dynamic of having a threesome when you're all strangers is quite different from having one with a couple. We were all attracted to each other and there were no strings attached or potential worries about messing up someone else's relationship or feeling like a third wheel.

We all lay sweaty and smiling on his bed after and agreed we should all meet up again. Zara and I left his flat, walked home and hugged goodbye.

A few weeks later I messaged her asking if she wanted to meet me for a drink and we chatted about our love lives, and how we both navigate our sexuality and desires while also being women of colour from religious families.

From then on we became the best of friends.

This threesome changed how I thought about sex and relationships, by making me realise that sex can be a fun experience and you can create a platonic friendship out of something sexual; it doesn't have to be complicated.

Most importantly, this encounter taught me something important about the strength of female friendship and having people in my life who are sex-positive that I can talk to without worrying about shame or stigma. It also made me realise that I'm more queer than I previously gave myself credit for, that sex with women isn't scary or intimidating and also that I really enjoy group sex!

While neither of us is in contact with the guy we had the threesome with, I message Zara almost every day. We constantly support and uplift one another and, given we only live 15 minutes apart, we also hang out very frequently. We've had a few more sexual experiences together including a six-person orgy and I went to my first fetish club night with her, though our friendship is strictly platonic.

If I had a message for people curious about using Feeld, but who haven't yet taken the plunge, I would say just go for it. Be yourself and be honest about what it is you want. It's okay if you don't really know what that is yet. I'd encourage practicing boundary setting and saying no to anything you're not feeling. Feeld really helped me explore my sexuality and who I am. I've met so many amazing people through Feeld and had some great experiences.



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