The Case for Horny Classics: “Wuthering Heights” and Beyond
Whether we like it or not, our collective heights have been firmly wuthered by Emerald Fennell’s Emily Brontë adaptation. There’s grass, floorboards, and 19th-century horse-girl-core BDSM.
The decision to make the classic story of intense, obsessive, destructive yearning so commercially sexy is one that’s incited much debate—from loyalists to Wattpad fanfic lovers alike.
On the one hand, a Bridgerton-esque quickie in a carriage deviates from the original novel. On the other, it’s fun, divisive, and—let’s be honest—only mildly risqué. Perfect for Friday night viewing, not for the literature syllabus. What’s to dislike? Yes, we might all love some honorable yearning or heady exploration into the very workings of desire, but sometimes the people want what they want. There’s nothing new at play here, and fanfiction creators have been flying the flag for eroticism longer than any of us—even if we choose to forget that 50 Shades of Grey was a byproduct of readers lusting after a hornier Twilight.
So, regardless of whether you’re a lover or a hater, the Jacob Elordification of Heathcliff has got us thinking: which other classic novels need the “Wuthering Heights” treatment? Which books weren’t originally especially erotic, but hold a bunch of horny potential? And how should they play out?
We put the question to Feeld members and contributors. Movie producers, take notes...
Which books do you want to see adapted à la “Wuthering Heights”? Which classics lowkey need to be made hornier? Share your dream casting, dream director, dream soundtrack artist...
“Little Women. Marmee, the original Mommy.”
“I think you could make Macbeth a Heated Rivalry-style production.”
“Macbeth but Lady Macbeth and the witches are in their own polycule.”
“Pride and Prejudice… Mr Darcy needs the cunty little Heathcliff earring.”
“The Brothers Karamazov. Hot Russian dissident fiction… there's literally a section called ‘An inappropriate gathering.’”
“Dracula (but sluttier).”
“Rebecca! It’s already been adapted but never hot hot style.”
“OK, hear me out but Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. Rebecca and housekeeper Mrs Danvers!!! I have a lesbian agenda for every book x.”
“Rebecca, even though it's been adapted before. The only two immediate casting folks that came to mind are: Jodie Comer as Rebecca, and maybe have Céline Sciamma direct it!”
“Rebecca would be a good one. Dream casting: me x.”
“Love in the Time of Cholera, aka edging for 50 years.”
“We need a horny Middlemarch, and I've always said that.”
“The Great Gatsby… Nick and Gatsby have finally gotta address that tension. The Weeknd on the soundtrack.”
“Sense and Sensibility!”
“Sense and Sensibility… all that yearning has to culminate in something.”
“Anna Karenina is already horny but due for a remake post-Keira Knightly 2012. I’m imagining Céline Sciamma directing and queering it, making Vronsky a woman or non-binary. Starring Renate Reinsve and Léa Seydoux??”
“Paradise Lost.”
“Narcissus and Goldmund is hot”
“The Picture of Dorian Gray.”
“I feel like Sherlock Holmes could be super horny. (There was a whole JohnLock movement when the TV series for Sherlock came out). Not just the art of deduction but seduction. Which would be interesting given that he's quite an emotionally closed off character.”
“Don Quixote. Especially the novel inside it.”
“Proust man, c’mon. Sexy Proust.”
“The Lover by Marguerite Duras.”
“Wuthering Heights again but Alison Oliver is Cathy.”
“The Return of the Native was risqué at the time but def can be hornier. The 1994 film doesn't quite give it what it deserves.”
“I feel like everyone talks about Romeo and Juliet but my fave Shakespeare pairing will always be Beatrice and Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing. The banter, it's such a frenemies-to-lovers trope.”
“The Talented Mr. Ripley but Tom and Dickie actually act on all that bisexual energy.”
“Not a classic but Twilight is due a sexier version. No more platonic cuddling in the tent, please. Robert Pattinson can stay cast.”
Curious about exploring more of your own desires, from the literary, to the platonic, erotic, romantic, or casual? Find the connections you’re looking for on Feeld. For a deeper dive, take a look at our exploration into exactly why you’re attracted to more fictional characters than actual humans (spoiler: you’re not alone).
