“I want to honor my desires”: A Feeld roundtable on heteroflexibility and bi-curiosity

Heteroflexible is the fastest-growing sexuality on Feeld, as revealed by Feeld Raw 2025—our annual data deep dive—with the number of people identifying as heteroflexible increasing by 193% over the past year. What’s more, switching between heteroflexible and straight is one of the most common sexuality shifts—with bi-curious also serving those who are intrigued about exploring bisexuality, but don’t desire to commit to “bisexual” as a label.  

People who identify as heteroflexible may see themselves as predominantly heterosexual, while remaining open to having sexual and/or romantic interactions with people of multiple genders. Meanwhile, bi-curiosity can be defined as a curiosity towards, or awareness of, the possibility of being bisexual.

We spoke to Feeld members about how their identities, desires, and experiences shaped their decisions to label themselves as heteroflexible, bi-curious, straight, or a combination of the three—and why they might choose to switch between terms. 

Which sexual identity have you chosen on Feeld and why? What does the term mean to you? 

“I think I put straight on my profile, but I identify as ‘mostly straight’ lol. Every once in a while I’ll have some male-directed attraction, but it’s very infrequent and not nearly as strong as my regularly active attraction to women.”—Brendan, 30, male, straight.

“Heteroflexible, because I haven’t really had any substantial experiences with other women and don’t feel that ‘bi’ is quite right for me at this stage. ‘Heteroflexible’ is a more open term that I feel takes the pressure off a bit.”—Tabitha, 29, cis woman, heteroflexible.

“Queer. I date women, non-binary, and genderfluid people. I don’t tend to date men but I haven’t ruled it out.”—Adam, 30, male, queer.

“Bi-curious. I want to honor my desires toward sexual intimacy with other hot, like-minded chicks that I find hot, but ultimately I feel a much stronger pull toward men sexually and romantically.”—Cat, 34, cis woman, bi-curious.

“Heteroflexible. I'm attracted to women, however I will play with someone that makes me feel hot and comfortable, whatever their gender.”—Kurtis, 32, male, heteroflexible.

“For simplicity, straight, but would hang with [the] same gender(s) in certain circumstances or explore if someone particularly piqued my interest.”—M, 37, non-binary, straight.

“Bi-curious, because it simply explains how I feel about my sexual identity—someone who is curious about [multiple] genders. This term allows me to tell people my curiosities but with a clear boundary which reflects that this doesn’t extend to my emotional/feelings side.”—Zizy Kiss, 30, female, bi-curious.

“Heteroflexible. I find myself feeling romantically and sexually attracted to men, but only sexually attracted to women/people who are non-binary. I’ve never had romantic feelings for a woman or non-binary person.”—Kendall, 33, female, heteroflexible.

“It changes a lot, right now it’s bisexual.”—Mike, 51, male, bisexual.

For you, what’s the difference between heteroflexible and bi-curious? What was your thought process in choosing either term over the other?

“I think the ‘curious’ in bi-curious implies that it’s a dynamic that is new or hasn’t been explored. For me, I’ve had sexual interactions with women and enjoyed them, so I consider myself more heteroflexible.”—Kendall, 33, female, heteroflexible.

“I don’t think my desire to be intimately or romantically or sexually attracted to men will change, at least for now. For that reason I would choose heteroflexible instead of bi-curious. Curious implies that you’re actively testing and exploring, whereas for me it’s more passive—[being] open to things happening in the right vibe and situation, but not something I’m actively pursuing.”—Kurt, 41, male, heteroflexible.

“I’m beyond being merely curious. I already know that I enjoy physical experiences outside of the typical hetero realm.”—Galen, 58, male, heteroflexible.

“[To me] heteroflexible is grounded in attraction to the opposite gender but being open to playing with others if the opportunity presents itself, often in group play. Bi-curious for me is acknowledging my bisexuality but not having had much opportunity to explore it yet.”—Sally, 49, female, bi-curious.

“Bi-curious feels more active, in the sense that it's more related to dating and actively seeking dates with all genders to see whether they enjoy their company. For heteroflexible, gender feels less relevant, but it lets another person know that they're mainly into women, but that's not a rigid element of their life.”—Kurtis, 32, male, heteroflexible.

“Heteroflexible suggests I know/have decided I’m attracted to women. Bi-curious suggests I’m still thinking about it but don’t know for sure or still want to explore…”—KM, 33, female, heteroflexible.

“I see heteroflexibility as a passive openness to queer experiences, whereas bi-curiosity is an active pursuit of queer experiences in order to learn more about your own sexuality and potentially work toward a new way of identifying.” —Anon, 22, woman, queer.

Have you ever switched your identity between straight/heteroflexible/bi-curious on Feeld? If so, why?  

“Yes, I flip back and forth between straight and heteroflexible.”—J, 27, man, heteroflexible.

“No. I knew I identified as heteroflexible before I joined Feeld. I was happy when I saw it as an option.”—Josh, 38, male, heteroflexible.

“I went from straight to queer. [Then] I adjusted to bi-curious to encourage more experiences with women.”—Cat, 34, cis woman, bi-curious.

“Yes. As I've discovered more about myself and become more confident about my own sexuality, I moved from straight to bi-curious to bisexual. I see myself as romantically-straight and sexually-bi, but bisexual feels like the right label for my desires.”—Anon, 30, male, bisexual.

“Yes, I have switched my sexuality on Feeld a few times between ‘bisexual,’‘heteroflexible,’ and ‘bicurious’ just to see which one felt the most authentic.”—Tabitha, 29, female, heteroflexible.

“Yes. I don't very often anymore. I've experimented with straight/bisexual/bi-curious.”—Brian, 47, male, hetero-romantic, bisexual.

“Early on, labels like heteroflexible or bi-curious felt more comfortable and honest for where I was at, especially while I was still figuring things out privately. Over time, as I became more confident and accepting of my attractions, bisexual felt like the most accurate fit. Any changes I made were about being genuine with myself and letting my profile reflect that growth.”—Syd, 37, male, bisexual.

“Yes. At the beginning I felt like straight described my reality of being in a long-term relationship with a man, and my lack of experiences with women. I can’t remember if I ever used heteroflexible, but if I did—or would ever—use it, it would be to give this message of, ‘it’s OK if we include your female partner.’ But the last identity I used was bi-curious, because I felt it was more true to what I identify as, and less intimidating than saying I’m bisexual while only having experiences with one woman. I feel bi-curious also allows me to explore more freely and maybe feel that there would be [fewer] expectations of me [as] less experienced in wlw [women-loving women] scenarios.”—Natalia, 33, female, bi-curious.

“Yes, when I was trying to attract women, I changed it from heteroflexible to bisexual and then to pansexual because I realized that was more accurate [for me].”—Charlie, 47, female, pansexual.

“Yes, since I'm very fluid about my sexuality and have felt differently at different points in my life.”—Shifa, 28, genderqueer, queer.

Do you often change your sexual identity on Feeld? Do you put significant thought into your decision or is it more relaxed? 

“I go through phases of feeling more secure in my sexual preferences and in those moments I switch to ‘bisexual’ but ultimately always find myself reverting to ‘heteroflexible.’”—Tabitha, 29, cis woman, heteroflexible.

“I’m intentional about it, but not rigid. I want the label to feel true, and once it does, I don’t overthink it or keep changing it.”—Aniket, 25, male, bisexual.

“I don’t really change it. I think I did that jump of straight–heteroflexible–bi-curious at the beginning, and it was a pretty fast change when I realised what deeply described me was the latter term.”—Natalia, 33, cis woman, bi-curious.

“No, I don’t often change my sexual identity. And yes, I put a great deal of thought into how I represent myself. And how that aligns with my wants and desires.”—Kurt, 41, male, heteroflexible.

“I don’t change often and it doesn’t really come up when I’m talking to [connections].”—Cat, 34, cis woman, bi-curious.

“I have gradually changed over time as I have learnt more about myself.” —Jay, 33, male, bisexual/pansexual.

“It's been a journey. I wouldn't say it felt like a big decision, just one I made when I was more sure of what I desired.”—Anon, 30, male, bisexual.

Keen to keep exploring how labels, desire, and identity can shift and expand? Discover what’s waiting for you on Feeld, or dive into Feeld Raw 2025 to uncover the trends, shifts, and stories shaping members’ journeys on the platform.