What is bi-curiosity?

If that sounds familiar, you might be wondering whether you’re bi-curious.

But what does bi-curious actually mean? Stonewall defines it as "a curiosity towards, or awareness of, the possibility of being bi," while also acknowledging that the term doesn't work for everyone. For some people, bi-curious can feel uncomfortable if taken to suggest that bisexuality is temporary, uncertain, or something that needs to be tested before it's taken seriously.

Bisexual activist Robyn Ochs, editor of the anthology Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, puts it this way: "Bi-curious implies that a person is currently asking questions about their sexuality but doesn't yet have the answers." For many people, that's exactly what the term is for: a way of naming curiosity without needing to land on a fixed identity straight away. Creating space for that kind of open-ended exploration is what we're all about at Feeld.

If you're curious (pardon the pun), stick around. We'll explore how bi-curiosity is similar to—and different from—bisexuality, and how to explore those feelings without rushing into a label that doesn't feel right.

What's the difference between bi-curiosity and bisexuality?

Bi-curiosity and bisexuality are often talked about together, and it's easy to see why. Both involve attraction that isn't limited to one gender. The difference usually comes down to how certain someone feels about that attraction and whether they want to claim it as an identity.

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation. People who identify as bisexual generally feel confident that they're attracted to more than one gender, even if that attraction shifts over time.

Bi-curiosity, on the other hand, is often about questioning. It can describe a period of wondering, exploring, or noticing attraction without wanting  to commit to a label just yet.  As sex educator Erica Smith, M.Ed., explains: "While 'bisexual' is an identity label for people who can be attracted to those with genders like and unlike theirs, a bi-curious person is perhaps not ready to make that declaration. They just know they're curious about bisexuality, and would like to explore more." In that sense, bi-curiosity is less about certainty and more about openness. 

How to tell if you’re bi-curious

Bi-curiosity can show up differently for everyone, but there may be some common threads to look out for, such as:

• You're curious about intimacy with people of more than one gender. That curiosity might be sexual, romantic, emotional, or a mix of all three. It might feel exciting, nerve-wracking, or hard to pin down.
• You're questioning what gender means to you in attraction. You've started noticing that gender plays a different role in who you're drawn to than you once assumed.
• You resonate with bi-curious or bisexual people and characters. You feel a sense of recognition when you hear someone talk about questioning their sexuality, or when you watch or read stories about bi or fluid attraction, not just as an observer, but because something about it feels familiar or personal.

Erica notes that one of the most common experiences she sees with clients is "having frequent or ongoing thoughts and fantasies about people [of more than one gender]." Sometimes, it's those recurring thoughts—rather than a single moment—that signal curiosity is worth paying attention to.

How do I know if I'm bi or just curious?

Bi-curiosity may feel exploratory, like you're noticing attraction without being ready to define it, while bisexuality tends to feel more settled as an identity.

If you're unsure, try paying attention to patterns rather than searching for answers. Do certain attractions keep resurfacing? Do they feel affirming, confusing, exciting—or all of the above? Attraction doesn't have to be equal, fixed, or acted on to be real.

How to explore bi-curiosity safely and respectfully

Exploration doesn't have to mean jumping straight into dating or sex. For some people, bi-curiosity begins with identifying as heterosexual and then feeling drawn to other genders. But it can absolutely work the other way, too—people who initially identify as gay or lesbian may find themselves drawn to attraction outside that frame, and that's just as valid. 

"Ask yourself what you want to get out of exploring your sexual identity,” Erica suggests. “Remind yourself that it's okay to be curious, to try new things, and you get to decide what all of that means to your identity." That might look like journaling, noticing what sparks attraction, or talking things through with a trusted friend.

When it comes to dating, Erica points out that the basics don't really change just because you're bi-curious. The same general advice applies to anyone: think about what you want out of dating, approach it with curiosity rather than pressure, communicate clearly with your partners, and be honest with yourself and each other. If you choose to share that you’re exploring, that gives the other person the option to decide whether they're comfortable being part of that exploration. Talking about bi-curiosity can feel awkward for some people, and that's OK. You're allowed to say so. A simple "Hey, this feels a bit vulnerable to talk about, but…" can open the conversation gently.

Dating apps like Feeld can also be a low-pressure way to test the waters. Erica suggests using them to "dip your toes into bisexuality," even if that simply means opening your preferences to include people of the multiple genders and noticing how that feels. 

If you’re feeling unsure, Erica reminds us that a lot of people go on a journey with their sexuality, whether they end up identifying as queer or not, and that it's OK not to have all the answers right away. You can choose to move at your own pace. Avoid pressuring yourself to choose a label before you're ready, or at all. Exploration should feel fun, consensual, and respectful of your boundaries and where you're at. And if it feels overwhelming, it's OK to pause, step back, and refocus on your own wellbeing.

For a deeper dive, take a look at our guide to dating when you’re bi-curious.

How common is bi-curiosity?

Among Feeld members, 5.6% identify as bi-curious. According to Merriam-Webster, the term was first used in 1984 and coincides with an increase in bisexual visibility in the United States: the first nationwide bisexual march was held in 1987, the first national bisexual organization formed and held its first conference in 1990, and the bisexual pride flag was designed in 1998.

And curiosity isn't a niche experience. A 2019 YouGov poll found that 35% of people who identified as heterosexual said they could be attracted to someone of the same gender if "the right person came along at the right time." 

Compulsory heterosexuality also plays a role here. The assumption that everyone is straight until they explicitly "come out" means many people start from a straight-passing place. Research suggests that around 88% of bi people are in “opposite”-sex partnerships, which can make curiosity—and bisexuality itself—less visible.

Sexuality researchers have long pointed out that attraction and identity don't always line up perfectly, either. Curiosity can exist without experimentation, and experimentation can happen without a lasting shift in identity. Bi-curiosity isn't limited to people who identify as straight, either. Anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, can find themselves curious about attraction beyond the identity they currently use. 

At Feeld, we see this fluidity reflected by our members. Outside of those who identify as bi-curious, Feeld Raw 2025—our annual data deep dive—revealed that heteroflexible is the fastest-growing sexuality on Feeld, with the number of people identifying as heteroflexible increasing by 193% over the past year. That's an important reminder that identity can constantly evolve, and doesn’t need to remain fixed. 

Representation and visibility in pop culture

It can be difficult to draw a clean line between representations of bi-curiosity and bisexuality in culture. Yet despite nuanced journeys, bisexual people remain underrepresented on screen. According to a 2024–2025 GLAAD report, bisexual characters made up only 20% of all LGBTQ representation on TV.

In literature, though, that kind of questioning has been explored for decades. In Michael Chabon's 1988 novel The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, the protagonist, Art Bechstein, develops feelings for his male friend that go beyond platonic—focusing less on naming identity and more on the emotional weight of realizing attraction doesn't always follow the rules you expect. On screen, Julia Davis's Sally4Ever offers a more contemporary and deliberately uncomfortable take. Sally begins the series identifying as straight and engaged to a man, before discovering a powerful sexual attraction to another woman. The show comedically and painfully explores her shift from certainty to curiosity. It treats bi-curiosity as messy, disruptive, and deeply human rather than a neat reveal.

More recent TV continues this thread. In XO, Kitty, Kitty Song Covey starts off in a heterosexual relationship before developing unexpected feelings for another girl, Yuri. Her storyline centres on confusion, intensity, and self-questioning. Similarly, Heartstopper follows Nick Nelson through uncertainty about his attraction to both boys and girls. In The Summer I Turned Pretty, moments of emotional intimacy and romantic tension involving character Jeremiah complicate assumed heterosexuality without immediately defining it.

That growing visibility extends beyond storytelling, too. Some people connect with the bi-curious flag created by Arco-Pluris in 2018 (one of many LGBTQ+ flags), which symbolizes questioning and exploration rather than a fixed identity.

As more people feel empowered to question, explore, and talk openly about attraction, bi-curiosity continues to be reflected in culture, not as a phase to rush through, but as a meaningful part of self-discovery.

Labeling, community, and erasure

One of the main criticisms of the term “bi-curious”  is that it can imply bisexuality needs to be "proven," rather than understood as a valid sexual orientation in its own right.

Speaking to Refinery29, Gabrielle Alexa, queer content creator and founder of Bi Girls Club, explains: "To me, the term bi-curious reflects a belief that orientation is something you have to explore sexually and romantically before it's real." She points out that this expectation isn't applied evenly. "We don't expect heterosexual people to be sexually experienced before we believe they're heterosexual," she says. 

This way of thinking feeds into a broader issue known as bi-erasure, where bisexuality is ignored, downplayed, or invalidated altogether. It can show up overtly, like being told you're "actually gay" if you date someone of the “same” gender, or more subtly, through jokes about bisexual people being indecisive or needing to "pick a side.”

Many bi people describe feeling caught in the middle. They can feel like they’re not "gay enough" to fully belong in queer spaces, and not "straight enough" to feel comfortable in a heteronormative world. Academic researcher Katie L. Griffin has written about how bisexual people often experience rejection or pressure to conform, from both heterosexual and gay communities. In one article, "If It's Wednesday, I Must Be Gay, and Other Thoughts on Bisexual Identity Development," she describes how this can play out in everyday moments, such as having a significant relationship forgotten or erased, or feeling welcomed into LGBTQ+ spaces only when appearing "queer enough."

Because of this, some people choose to avoid the term "bi-curious" altogether and identify as bisexual from the outset. Others find that labels like pansexual or queer feel more accurate, or use multiple terms at the same time. Some people don't want a label at all. All of these choices are valid, and none require justification.

Curiosity as a journey, not a label

Being bi-curious doesn't have to mean anything more than that: being curious. What matters isn't where curiosity "ends up," or if you act on it. Attraction can be fluid. Desire can change. You're allowed to move slowly, to pause, to rethink, and to choose the language that feels most affirming to you right now, even if that language evolves later.

If you're intrigued, explore with openness and self-compassion. There's no deadline for figuring things out, and no single right way to do it. And if part of that exploration involves connection and conversation with others, Feeld is here to make space for exactly that.