A Week on Feeld with… a play party exhibitionist looking to build community

Welcome to a week on Feeld with a bisexual woman in her 30s living in Los Angeles. Join our writer on her quest to build community and explore her exhibitionist side, by making connections on the app and at a Feeld social.

Monday 

I wake up feeling invigorated and empowered after a slutty, indulgent weekend. I went to a play party on Saturday night, dressed in lace and not much else, and both met and reconnected with all sorts of wonderful, like-minded people. Still, I find myself wanting more, so I open Feeld to see who might pop up. Lately, one of the main things I’m looking for is non-monogamous community, and Feeld is one of the best places I’ve found to search for it. I would also love to find a consistent date for play parties, as I usually go solo. Instead, E’s smiling face fills my screen. E and I first connected years ago and used to hook up consistently. Now, we reconnect about once a year and make plans to reunite, a fun little tradition we’ve kept up with for a while. Could we reach out to each other on Instagram or text whenever we wanted to? Sure. But there’s something so sexy about this, “Oh, fancy seeing you here,” thing we’ve got going on. It gets us both in the mood, and we quickly make plans for Friday.

Later in the day, I head to Melody Wine Bar on the edge of Silverlake in L.A. for a Feeld social as part of my quest to build community. The app is fun, but I do love meeting people in person and getting to feel out the vibe right away, so it’s great that Feeld does events like this. I arrive right at 7 pm and see there’s already a short line forming on the sidewalk. The event is totally sold out, and I’m excited about the possibilities of who I might meet.

I hop into line right as two femmes are walking up behind me, and we chat a bit about the event and what we’re expecting. Once inside, I’m nervous. I’m a neurospicy introvert, so attending events alone is always a bit intimidating. I want to be here, though; I want to be brave for the sake of meeting friends and lovers I can build lasting connections with. I grab a drink and move further into the space. Fairly quickly, a man approaches me, and we take a seat at a long table toward the back of the bar. As we begin chatting, I lock eyes with a woman over his shoulder who looks familiar to me. It turns out she and I have connected before but never ended up meeting in person. I invite her and the friend she came with to join us, and before long a few other people have sat down, too. We chat about non-monogamy, local events, play parties, and everything in between as the bar slowly fills up around us. 

After a little while, the group disperses in search of drink refills. On my way to the bar, I run into someone I met at a Feeld social last year and dated briefly. We catch up a bit before parting ways, and I finally make it to the bar just as someone else I recognize is walking up. He mentions a game day on Sunday with some other non-monogamous people, and I make a mental note of it. He leaves to rejoin his friends, and I take the opportunity to walk around by myself, enjoying a quiet moment of people-watching.

I spot the two people I’d been chatting with in line, Z and G, sitting at a table and ask if I can sit with them. I’m actively trying to approach people more tonight instead of waiting for them to come to me, a noble but terrifying mission. We talk about our nights so far and they share a few funny interactions they’ve had. As if on cue, a man who G tells me has been eyeing Z all night walks up to our table and starts talking to her. He compliments her shirt and makes a joke about the lace shirt he’s wearing, saying she looks great while he looks like a doily, which quickly becomes our nickname for him. He starts talking about being submissive and Z leans into the role, sending him on a quest to get her some water. He comes back with an entire serving bottle and three glasses, then leaves again having completed his objective.

I get another chance to talk about play parties, a passion of mine. It’s nice being in an environment where I can talk about it without fear of judgment, and Z and G are curious to hear more. Doily stops by the table one more time before the night is over, and Z hands him the empty water bottle without saying a word.

Tuesday

I wake up smiling about last night. My main goal had been to talk to some new people, and here I am today with potential new friendships on the horizon. I message Z and G to thank them for being so warm and welcoming toward me. I really hope the three of us can hang out again soon.

After work I head to my weekly yoga class, and the instructor says the theme for today is clarity. I think about clarity during my practice and how it relates to both last night and my polyamory journey. I’ve been actively polyamorous since 2018, and Feeld was one of the first places I turned to in search of community. I’ve met so many people and learned so much since then. These days, I know (mostly) exactly what I want.

I want to eventually find a primary or anchor partner who I can do life with, but I’m not in a rush. In between, I want to continue dating and meeting people in the non-monogamous community, and pursue whatever connections pop up. I want to keep attending play parties and exploring the exhibitionist side of myself. I want to meet and engage with partners who can help me unlock kinks I haven’t gotten the chance to tap into. I want to form friendships with people who understand the life I’m leading.

With the concept of clarity pulsing through me, I open Feeld as soon as yoga ends, and start chatting with someone I connected with recently, J. We soon realize that we’ve actually spoken before. Apparently, it’s the week of reconnections. He and I crossed paths on Feeld right when I was beginning my polyamory journey and never actually met in person. I’m curious if things might shake out differently this time, and we make plans to get tea on Thursday. 

Wednesday 

Today is a work and self-care day. I reach out to G and ask if she’d be interested in going with me to another Feeld-sponsored event tomorrow night, MILK at Honey’s L.A. It’s a femme-forward, queer-centered dance party of sorts that’s been happening once a month in East Hollywood. I haven’t had the chance to check it out yet, but G and Z mentioned they went last month, and I’m hoping they’ll want to go again. Unfortunately, G is busy tomorrow night, but we talk about hanging out another time soon. Maybe I’ll go by myself? I’m not much of a dancer, so it’s a scary thought.

Thursday 

Someone I’ve been seeing comes over around lunchtime for a quick afternoon delight. His day is pretty busy, but we manage to fit in a rendezvous. I wish we could have hung out longer, but something about the quickness of it all turns me on and leaves me wanting more, a delicious feeling. Besides, I’ve got a date later to get ready for.

Or not; J ends up needing to reschedule for Saturday. I consider going to MILK later on my own. It doesn’t start until 9, so I have some time to think on it. I’ve pretty much decided I’m definitely going when my back starts to hurt, and it becomes obvious I’m in no condition to go dancing. It’s clearly a sex injury from earlier, and I laugh at the irony of accidentally cock-blocking myself from meeting new people because I got my back blown out from great sex.

Instead of going out, I stay in and scroll Feeld. I connect with someone who, once again, I realize I’ve connected with before. This is getting ridiculous! I think again about clarity and if the universe, with the help of Feeld, is trying to tell me something. That I’ve been surrounded by community all this time, maybe? Or that just because a connection doesn’t work out at a certain time, or in a certain way, it doesn’t mean it’s lost forever. It’s been a week of introspection, for sure. 

Friday 

Z messages me asking about play parties, much to my delight. She’s going to her very first one, and I share my insights and advice to help alleviate her nerves. I’d love more friends I can attend play parties with, so her journey into this world is exciting. 

In the evening, E finally comes over after a long week of waiting. I open the door and we immediately start kissing, and I lead him to my bedroom after barely a hello. Once we’ve had our way with each other, sweaty and panting, we both say, “So… how’ve you been?” at the same time and burst out laughing. Sex first, talk later. We lounge in bed for the next few hours, making out and catching each other up on everything we’ve missed. 

Saturday

It’s a gloomy fall day in Los Angeles and my body is feeling it. After a laid-back brunch, I spend the rest of the day in bed binging Netflix, only rising finally to get ready for my date with J.

We meet up at a coffee shop in North Hollywood in the evening, and he grabs us both hot apple ciders shortly after we arrive. I’m instantly attracted to him, both physically and because of the vibes he’s giving off, and it doesn’t take long for us to get into the nitty-gritty. J is looking for a partner he can explore his hotwife and cuckold kinks with, and I listen to him describe exactly what that means for him. My exhibitionist side is incredibly intrigued, and I want him already. He enjoys going to play parties and is looking to build community, too. We seem very aligned, and after two and a half hours of verbally exploring the lifestyle together, he drives me home, leaving me with thoughts of all the other ways we might be able to explore together.

Sunday 

Last night I had a dream about J, a very promising start to what will hopefully turn into a fun, sexy partnership. We start texting early in the day, making loose plans to hang out later in the week. I decide to go to the game day I learned about at the Feeld social and head to a park in West Hollywood for a day of community building and getting to know more new people. This week has been a beautiful reminder that the polyamorous life I’m striving to continue building truly is mine for the taking. 

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