Misconceptions about sexual health: separating myths from facts

We’re not all lucky enough to have inclusive, sex-positive, and non-judgmental healthcare. Even if we do, it can feel intimidating talking about sex with our care providers. Throw in stigma toward queer and trans sex, or non-monogamy, and it’s no wonder some of us don’t receive all the information we need.

There are a lot of myths floating around about sexually transmitted infections (STIs). We’re  here to bust them with The Love Tank, a U.K.-based community organization on a mission to improve the sexual health and well-being of underserved communities. Time to separate fact from fiction…

Myth: You can “tell” if a person has an STI

False. You can’t always “tell” if someone has an infection. If someone has visible signs like sores or discharge in their genital area then there may be an infection present, but STIs often don't have symptoms. 

The only way to know your STI status is to get tested. A routine test usually includes chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and HIV. If you’re living with HIV, you can still test for other STIs: your HIV clinic might offer these tests at the same time as your regular HIV check-up. STI tests may include physical exams, urine samples, blood samples, and swabs for the vagina, penis, throat, and anus (remember to include these last two if you’ve performed oral sex or had anal play).

Remember that STI test results may not detect infections picked up within the window period. This is the time it takes between getting an infection and when it would show up on a test. The window period for chlamydia and gonorrhea is 2 weeks, and for HIV and syphilis it’s between 4 and 6 weeks.

You can find more information in our complete guide to STI testing, and our breakdown on how to self-test.

Myth: Only people who have a lot of sex get STIs

Anyone can get an STI, no matter how many partners they’ve had. Infections don’t discriminate based on body count—they can happen whether you’ve only had long-term partners, or more casual sex.

Whether you’re monogamous, monogamish, or have multiple partners, testing and treatment (if you need it) help to take care of your health.

Myth: I should be scared of STIs

STIs don’t have to be scary. They’re like any kind of common infection, but the only difference is stigma. You can help prevent them in different ways depending on your body and what you’re comfortable with—tools you can use include HIV PrEP, DoxyPEP, condoms, dental dams, and vaccinations.

If you do get an STI, they can usually be easily treated. Try not to stress about it—just make an appointment with your healthcare provider or a local sexual health clinic, or visit them during walk-in hours, to discuss your treatment options. 

Myth: People with vaginas don’t get HIV

Some people think only queer, cis men, or trans women are at a higher risk for HIV, but it’s more nuanced than that. Nobody is automatically at “high risk” based on their identity—your level of risk comes from the anatomy you and your partners have, along with the kinds of sex you are having.

A helpful way to think about it is this: You may be at higher risk of HIV if you have sex with people born with a penis (who still have one), or if any of these partners also have sex with people born with a penis (who still have one). For example, this could include gay trans men, cis women who have sex with bisexual men, trans women who have sex with other trans women, and many more identities and partnerships. When it comes to types of sex, condomless anal sex is the highest risk for HIV transmission, followed by vaginal sex. Oral sex is very low risk.

If you think you may be at higher risk for HIV now or in future, PrEP is an HIV prevention tool that works for everyone. To learn more about PrEP, check out this guide from PrEPster—a hub for information and resources related to PrEP.

Myth: If I’m using condoms, I don’t need to get tested

Condoms are a great way to prevent HIV and some STIs, but using them in combination with regular STI testing will give you the most accurate picture of your sexual health. 

This is partly down to the fact that some STIs can be transmitted through oral sex—if you’re only using condoms for vaginal and/or anal sex, then it’s still possible to pick up or pass on an infection via oral sex. 

Oral sex can transmit STIs between someone’s mouth/throat and ass/genitals. So, someone could get a genital STI if their partner performed oral sex with an oral STI. Someone could also get an oral STI by performing oral sex on someone with a genital STI. 

If you’ve given oral sex, then make sure you include an oral swab as part of your routine testing at your next STI testing check-up.

Outside of this, it’s still a good idea to get regular comprehensive STI testing, even while using condoms. Condoms can sometimes fail, especially if they’re used or removed incorrectly—and regular testing ensures you’re informed about your own health, and prioritizing the health of others.

Myth: I should get tested for herpes

This is… a little complicated. In most cases, no. 

If you have symptoms of genital herpes, like blisters in your genital area, then see a healthcare provider for a check-up. They will often be able to diagnose based on what the symptoms look like, and they can take a swab of the blisters to confirm this with a test.

If you don’t have symptoms, there’s no need for a test. This applies even if a partner has told you they have genital herpes. Just watch and wait—if symptoms are going to appear, this usually happens within 2 weeks. 

Blood tests for the herpes virus exist, but they’re not the most helpful. In fact, most clinics won’t offer them without symptoms. This is because the herpes virus is extremely common, and many people have it while remaining symptomless. The blood test also doesn’t tell us where on the body the infection is—for example, if you have herpes in your mouth—so it’s not very reliable.

Myth: You can’t get STIs on DoxyPEP

Unfortunately, that’s not true. DoxyPEP is a useful STI prevention method, but it’s not 100% effective.

DoxyPEP refers to “Doxycycline Post-Exposure Prophylaxis,” which is where you take the antibiotic doxycycline after sex to help prevent syphilis, chlamydia, and to a lesser extent, gonorrhea. 

DoxyPEP is highly effective against chlamydia and syphilis. Data shows that it can reduce risk by around 70%, or potentially more. It’s less effective against gonorrhea. This means that for all three, it’s possible to still get an infection even if someone uses DoxyPEP correctly every time they have sex.

Since STIs can have no symptoms, DoxyPEP should ideally be used in combination with regular testing every three months.

Myth: HIV is life-threatening

False. People living with HIV can live long, healthy lives. If someone is diagnosed today and starts treatment promptly, they can have a totally normal lifespan. 

HIV care has advanced so much that if someone’s treatment is working properly, the virus is suppressed enough in their body to completely stop HIV being passed on through sex. This is called being “undetectable,” and when someone reaches this status it also has long-term benefits for their health by reducing the risk of HIV-related health conditions.

Myth: “Pulling out” can prevent STIs

Nope—“pulling out” isn’t a good way to prevent pregnancy or STIs. Infections can be transmitted without ejaculating, through fluids like pre-cum, vaginal fluid, or anal fluid. 

If you don’t want to use condoms but want to prevent HIV, then you can use HIV PrEP if you are HIV-negative. If someone is living with HIV and they are undetectable, then they can’t transmit the virus through sex. If you’d like to reduce the risk for bacterial STIs when having condomless sex, then DoxyPEP may be a good fit for you.

Myth: If I’ve been treated for an STI once, I can’t get it again

We wish! Even if you’ve been successfully treated for an STI, it doesn’t give you protection against future infections. That includes a re-infection with the same STI.

If you’ve been treated for an STI, your clinic may ask you to come back after a few weeks for a test to confirm the treatment has worked. After this, you can go back to a regular cycle of routine testing. Prevention tools like condoms and DoxyPEP can help prevent repeat infections. 

Some STIs like genital herpes and genital warts can’t be cured, but the symptoms can be managed with treatment. Flare-ups can cause a reappearance of symptoms, but for some people these can be years down the line. They may not even happen at all.

For more information, take a look at our guides to prioritizing sexual health and safety, STI testing and self-testing, HIV, and prevention options for safer sex.