In 2026, two men kissing is not exactly a scandalous proposition. But if those men make out while a woman watches in salacious glee? Now we're in unfamiliar—and increasingly popular—territory.
Modern women and non-binary people have devoured Boys’ Love, or BL, stories for decades.The most popular examples include Star Trek's Kirk-Spock shippers who pioneered slashfic (fan fiction focused on relationships between same-gender characters), and Japanese readers who reshaped the manga market via their love of yaoi (a BL subgenre). Any tale of homoromantic connection fits the BL bill, from chaste, slow burn fanfics that culminate in a single kiss, to pure guy-on-guy smut. The only indispensable elements are boys and yearning (or at least insatiable sexual craving).
Still, it wasn't until 2025's Heated Rivalry that the genre hit the American mainstream and incited many head-scratching think pieces that puzzled over the show's overwhelming popularity. Those confused commentators should have just asked Feeld members what all the fuss is about. We did, and the results are illuminating. In these selected responses, members reflect on what BL does to and for them in evocative and insightful terms. Non-adherents might be surprised to learn that the genre isn't only a source of erotic and emotional pleasure, but impacts self-understanding, shapes relational and sexual desires, and evokes more sympathy for men on the whole. ("I feel bad that so many have grown up not understanding their emotions or how to process real feelings," writes one member. "It brings me joy when I can see two of them finding passion and genuine care.")
At a time when the tired men-are-from-Mars, women-are-from-Venus intergender antagonism has been revamped and stoked to a fever pitch, BL offers an antidote. It serves as a reminder that many women and non-binary people do love men, and it keeps that group in touch with the source of their attraction. In the words of one anonymous contributor, "it makes me feel hopeful about men's ability to overcome toxic masculinity."
For more, read Charlotte Shane’s AFM deep dive into the Boy Crazy phenomenon. Below, Feeld members lift the veil…
What’s your favorite thing about Boys’ Love (BL) material? How does it make you feel? What does it offer that other romances don’t?
“It makes me feel hopeful about men’s ability to overcome toxic masculinity. To see/read about men who can actually connect with other men, be vulnerable with them, be open and honest and raw with them—it’s rare to find that with a lot of straight men, or even a lot of queer men, because of toxic masculinity and the general association of emotions/vulnerability with femininity.”—Anonymous, 29, female, bisexual
“It makes me want to fall in love myself. I love the combination of vulnerability and masculinity, and the way BL often allows men to be tender, emotionally open, and deeply devoted without losing their strength. The relationships can feel intense and equal, without being confined by traditional gender roles. It also feels more comfortable and immersive to me because I’m not constantly comparing myself to a female main character (her appearance, body, choices or desirability). That distance allows me to lose myself in the romance and longing more freely, while still connecting deeply with the emotions.”—Charlotte, 41, female, heterosexual
“The vulnerability and yearning in BL hits so much more than it does in straight romance. I love sapphic romance as well. I think maybe it's the lack of an unequal societal power dynamic that is always present in straight romance.”—Em, 33, non-binary, bisexual
“I love men, and I feel bad that so many have grown up not understanding their emotions or how to process real feelings and it brings me joy when I can see two of them finding passion and genuine care in a relationship with another man.”— Anonymous, 42, female, demisexual
“I'm married to a bisexual man and we're ethically non-monogamous so I get to enjoy it as a fantasy that I've actually lived in my real relationship.”—Anonymous, 36, woman, straight
“I feel like even with the current popularity of books and shows like Heated Rivalry, for example, that realistic man-on-man romance is still treated as taboo. One of the most popular titles in the genre still had a plot line about keeping the main affair a secret from the world. It seems as if the only time that male relationships are fully commonplace are in romantasies like The Empyrean or Beasts of the Briars. So, I think that there is a bit of a hopefulness that while we immerse ourselves into the lives of these characters and grow the genre, maybe we can break up that divide between fantasy and real world romance. Or to put it plainly, I think we are encouraging authors with our patronage to write more books about sexy men in love with other sexy men, without the need for them to hide or [have] a fire-breathing dragon.”—Sabrina Norton, 44, female, heteroflexible
“In MM stories, it’s often the two of them versus the problem, instead of them versus each other. This makes for a stronger story and the audience is on their side too. We also tend to get male bi representation [in MM stories] even if a man is choosing another man.”—Artemis, 46, cis woman, demisexual
“It's fascinating seeing men yearn and experience shame. Those are such common female emotions. It's beautiful seeing men behave in ways they aren't allowed to in society—to be soft.”—Amelia, 29, female, bisexual
“The power dynamic is very different. I have no interest in reading/watching media where women submit to men. But when men submit to each other; that dynamic is solely related to the individuals and not years of real life power imbalances in society.”—Emma, 27, woman, lesbian
“It’s a window into a world I’m not part of. Reading MLM [men-loving-men fiction] made me fully appreciate that all humans just want love and connection.”—L, 40, female, bisexual
“BL is just as much of a form of escapism as it is erotic to me.”—Rachel, 25, female, bisexual
“BL was ultimately the first thing that led me to exploring my gender identity. It was a way to put myself in the shoes of a man-loving-man and experience (albeit secondhand) that kind of relationship with men that wasn’t soured by misogyny. Now, I’m a transmasc non-binary person that still enjoys MLM media because it’s gender affirming, as opposed to romance media with female protagonists.”—Gem, 22, transmasc, bisexual
“Boys kissing boys is hot.”—Devan, 29, woman, straight
Do you have a preferred Boys’ Love niche or trope?
What makes that one most appealing?
“I love an enemies-to-lovers arc. I think it makes me think about how people can grow and change and that how a person shows up at one point in time doesn’t have to be who they are forever.”—Anonymous, 29, female, bisexual
“The getting to know each other before they fall in love.”—Anonymous, woman, bisexual
“Forbidden love. I think this is so appealing because there are external barriers to the relationships and I like that risks are thrown to the wind because love is more important.”—Cc, 38, female, straight
“Enemies-to-lovers—I love the chemistry and heat it creates when someone gets under your skin in a way that you hate and love.”—Ummmmm, 37, trans non-binary, bisexual/queer
“I do quite enjoy the opposites attract trope. The nerd and the jock, the prince and the villain, the quiet one and the boisterous one.”—Sabrina Norton, 44, female, heteroflexible
“I apparently love a chaotic European bisexual (Ilya, Lestat).”— Anonymous, 44, cis woman, queer/bisexual/pansexual
“Sports romance, specifically hockey, have been my favorites… It takes a lifetime of training to get to the NHL, so the culture of hockey is at the forefront for both characters [and] we usually get to see at least one of the characters discover that he’s gay or bi. Self discovery and first true love is always exciting to witness and exciting for the reader. We all remember that feeling of first love. And if we’re lucky we know that feeling of being your true self for the first time.”—Artemis, 46, cis woman, demisexual
“I love fake dating and realizing they’re actually in love. Something about the slow burn.”—Kalen, 32, woman
“I love anything with a slow burn! Contrary to popular belief not all fujoshi [a Japanese term for BL fans] read BL just for the sex scenes! I want to take my time to sink into the world and the characters before anything crazy happens. Honestly I think it’s escapism for me!”—Ulrxu, 22, trans woman, straight
“Anything where men discover their sexuality because of the other [person], their own surprise at how much they want it, and then the surprise that the other person is also interested in them, and in men, and they get to have them… [it’s] SO hot.”—Sasha, 28, female, bisexual
What books/comics/shows would you include on a “best of” list?
“Looking, Heated Rivalry, Red, White & Royal Blue, The Boyfriend Material Series.”—Des, 28, female, straight
“Anne Rice’s [The Vampire] Lestat. Gods and Monsters. Pillion.”—Susie, 43, female, queer, demi, sapio, pan
“Heated Rivalry, Heartstopper, Autobiography, and Necessary Evils by Onley James.”—Riley, 23, woman, straight
“Call Me By Your Name, Interview With the Vampire, Heated Rivalry (the show not the books), Twist and Shout (the Destiel fanfic).”—Castor, 29, queer, bisexual
“Heated Rivalry might be one of the best shows, and I've watched a lot. Looking is super good. Red, White & Royal Blue is probably one of the best books. The entire Rachel Reid [Game Changers] series is epic. But I've been a consumer of this my whole life.”—Anonymous, 36, woman, straight
“Just get into Ao3 and Fanfiction. There's a long and happy history of BL dating back to the ’60s when housewives first dreamt of Spock and Kirk making out on far off planets.”—Bun, 31, NB, queer
“Interview with the Vampire is a must. At its core, it is a love story between two men, looking for a lifelong companion. Read the book, watch the TV series but don't go near the film.”—Cerridwen, 43, female, pansexual
“Young Royals (TV show), Brokeback Mountain (movie), Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (book), Webtoon has a lot of cute stories to pick from.”—Greta, 22, non-binary woman, pansexual
“My favorite ‘historical narrative’ would be Painter of the Night, my favorite contemporary BL is Given.”—Caelan, 23, nonbinary, gay
“The Pucking series and Second Son series by Dr. Emily Rath. Awakening by C. M. Barnes.”—Artemis, 46, cis woman, demisexual
“Heated Rivalry, God’s Own Country, Call Me By Your Name (if you’re ok with an age difference), Happy Together. Too many James Baldwin books to list. Too many fan fics to list.”—Aisha, 48, woman, bisexual
“My Policeman (book and movie), HEATED RIVALRY, Fellow Travelers, Call Me By Your Name, Queer as Folk.”—Sue, 39, female, pansexual
“Kurt and Blaine in Glee.”—Sasha, 28, female, bisexual
How did you first find BL? Have you introduced it to others?
“My library had a small queer collection in a rural town, but my librarians were really cool and helped me with my queer identity. Tumblr also helped a lot lol.”—Anonymous, 25, nonbinary, lesbian
“Originally from Booktok with the books The Song Of Achilles and Red, White & Royal Blue.”—Rosie, 24, woman, pansexual
“Tumblr, AO3, Wattpad, through high school friends back in ’15.”—3, 23, woman, bisexual
“I first came across it in a bookshop. I was looking for romance and tucked in alongside some old Mills and Boons was this story about 2 guys trying to figure out their attraction to each other amongst other angst.”—Charlie, 38, female, interested in masculinity
“I heard the hype and ignored it for a while. Until I had a weekend alone to binge.”—Sophy, 28, female, bisexual
“I suppose I first watched gay porn or read gay erotica in high school. I have absolutely introduced it to others! Mostly other women, both queer and het.”—Aisha, 48, woman, bisexual
“Reading Always Raining Here opened my eyes and online manga sites filled my mind for years to come as a teenager! To be honest, I’m just now as an adult realizing that ingesting literally thousands of those stories as a preteen/teen has definitely shaped so much of my understanding and expectations of love and sex :/// And yes, I’ve regularly introduced various works to many of my friends if I thought they would like one in particular!”—Ulrxu, 22, trans woman, straight
“I was introduced to it through fanfiction as a tween, right when I was starting to explore sex. I was fairly awkward and ashamed of my own body, so BL was a way for me to project my psyche onto characters without having to negatively compare my own body with the girl in the relationship.”—Jane, 34, female, pansexual
“I’m lucky enough to have been exposed to it from a young age but a big win this year was getting my 86-year-old grandma to watch Heated Rivalry.”—Katie, 32, female, queer
Does BL ever inform how you think about or behave in your relationships?
Would you want it to? How does it intertwine with your desires?
“It's been interesting to learn about what I am happy to read about vs. do IRL. For example, I can enjoy sex with men in my own life, but I absolutely cannot tolerate reading about a woman and a man together in a book, even if they are both queer… What I do wish I could channel from these books is healthy aggression/dominance, because I am a switch but have rarely felt able to access my dominant side, so reading about a rough (but still caring!) dom top like Will Darling is very… inspiring? But also frustrating?”—AZ, 44, woman, bisexual
“I don’t think it’s changed how I behave but it does intertwine with my desires. I like to watch MLM and the fact that as an AFAB I'll never experience frotting is one of my life’s biggest tragedies.”—Paige, 27, female, bisexual
“I mean I didn't even realize I was NB until I watched Heated Rivalry and was so confused why I wanted to be them so much. So yes, I would say it's an understatement to say it is entwined with my identity and desires.”—Em, 33, non-binary, bisexual
“I’m looking for an emotionally vulnerable and open-minded man who’s also into gay sex.”—Jay, 29, cis female, bisexual
“1000000% reading MLM fic has shaped my sexuality, my understanding of what I'm interested in (especially uncommon kinks etc). It's connected me with my own pleasure and it's a rich way to engage with the world around you (as long as you keep it normal re: RPF [Real Person Fiction]).”—Anonymous, 30, female, queer
“Definitely! I never thought that a polyamorous relationship would be for me. These stories with bi men willing to love each other and women fully and out loud, make me yearn for more… I’m very curious about being in love with two men who are also in love. … I haven’t explored that yet but I’m open to it now and previously I would have rejected the idea altogether.”—Artemis, 46, cis woman, demisexual
“I’ve learned that masculinity is a large part of what I’m attracted to, not necessarily a male identity or AMAB.”—Kalen, 32, woman
“Yes, it makes me think about how power dynamics can be shared, how masculinity can be healthy and exhibited in a way that doesn’t harm women… It also reminds me, as a woman who dates primarily women, that assertiveness and taking control of a situation are sexy and hot.”—AD, 27, non-binary, queer
“I think that M/M romance and sex stories definitely inform my desires even as a lesbian, because those relationships and dynamics also exist outside of heteronormativity so they don't feel as loaded to mirror or be inspired by.”—Emma, 27, woman, lesbian
“It’s been a way for me to see myself reflected, and explore my attraction to men as it relates to my own gender—something I’ve been uncomfortable about for a long time because of dysphoria and being perceived and treated as feminine.”—Anonymous, 28, transmasc, queer
“It doesn’t necessarily inform my behavior, as much as it makes me more understanding or compassionate about the pressure that men are often under to perform masculinity in a certain way. That’s not to say they have it worse than others—but it is to say that they have societal pressures just like everyone else. I also think that it helps me uphold my standards for dating—I’m not willing to accept a man who can’t communicate with me.”—Anonymous, 29, female, bisexual
Ready to explore the full spectrum of your desires, real, imagined, all of the above? Find yourself on Feeld.
