The Feeld guide to pegging

Maybe you've seen the word "pegging" mentioned in someone’s Feeld bio, read it in a spicy group chat, or found yourself deep in a Reddit thread trying to figure out exactly what it means. And now… you're curious.

While pegging has “traditionally” referred to a woman wearing a strap and penetrating a man, it isn't reserved for folks of a certain gender or sexual orientation. Sure, one of the main reasons people peg is because it feels good, but it's also about much more than the physical act: pegging invites trust, exploration, and a playful “flipping” of what might be deemed “traditional” sexual roles.

It might still feel taboo to some (and for others, that's the point), but the numbers suggest it's far from rare. In a recent US survey, around 1 in 10 heterosexual adults reported having tried pegging. Among LGBTQ+ people, that figure jumped to 31%, with bisexual folks leading the way. Millennials were also the generation most likely to have tried it, perhaps unsurprisingly, given their higher rates of anal play overall.

Read on as we explore what pegging is, why people enjoy it, how to talk about it openly, and practical tips for making your first time safe and pleasurable.

What is pegging?

Let's take a deeper dive, pardon the pun. What does pegging mean? Put simply, pegging is anal penetration using a strap-on dildo. Pretty straightforward.

The term was coined by sex advice columnist Dan Savage in 2001, originally referring to a cisgender woman using a strap to penetrate her cis male partner. But the term has since evolved to be more inclusive than that. Now, the defining feature of pegging is that there's a strap-on and anal sex involved, not the gender or assigned sex of the partners doing it.

Its recent rise in the cultural spotlight has a lot to do with the broader sex-positive movement and more open conversations about BDSM and kink, queer intimacy, and non-traditional sexual dynamics. Whether it's listening to a podcast, seeing it on the silver screen, or reading about it in erotica… pop culture has played a part. Anyone else lose their minds over that scene in The Hunting Wives?

And it's just as hot IRL, too. According to Feeld's own data, pegging was the fastest-growing desire amongst straight women in 2024 (up 67%), although straight men were still the group most likely to explore it overall. 

But why the sudden surge? Part of it comes down to culture evolving: there are more queer people visible than ever before, less stigma around exploring sexual desires (though sadly, some still exist), and people are feeling freer to experiment and talk about their sexuality. Many discover pegging as a way to deepen intimacy, explore new sensations, or playfully shift power dynamics. And yet, because anal play still carries cultural baggage, it's often approached with a mix of intrigue and hesitation.

What is the difference between pegging vs. using a strap-on?

Isn't pegging just the same as using a strap-on? No, but it's easy to see why people might think that. 

Pegging is pretty specific in referring to anal penetration, traditionally with a man but—as certified sex and relationships psychotherapist and author of Kink Curious Gigi Engle points out—"It has since become a more inclusive term referring to anyone being anally penetrated by a person wearing a strap-on.”

Meanwhile, strap-ons are a much broader category. They can be used for vaginal penetration, oral play, roleplay scenarios and, yes, for pegging too. So, all pegging involves a strap-on, but not all strap-on play is pegging.

How to peg your partner(s)—a beginner’s guide

How to prepare for pegging

All good sex starts before the actual doing. It's about making sure everyone is comfortable, their bodies are relaxed, their minds are at ease, and you both feel connected. "Go slowly," advises Gigi. "Be sure you're starting with butt plugs and other small anal toys to work up to using a strap-on," if it feels right. Fingers, beaded toys, small or tapered dildos, or even just external massage can all help ease the body into it.

For those wearing the strap-on, pegging can be incredibly hot as a way to play with power dynamics. You might be setting the pace, angle, and rhythm but, as Gigi reminds us, "The person who is being penetrated is the one in control." That means they decide when to start, when to stop, and how deep or fast things go. "Always be sure the person who is being penetrated is feeling comfortable and everything feels good. As the person being penetrated, it's important to really communicate what is and isn't working for you." Talking, even dirty talking, about what you want and what's working keeps the experience consensual, enjoyable, and sexy.

"Lube is your very best friend in all anal activities," says Gigi. That extra step reduces friction and makes things way more comfortable. Remember: silicone-based lubes don’t play well with silicone toys (and most dildos are silicone), so go for a water-based lube instead.

A quick note on safety: STI transmission is still possible with pegging. You can reduce the risk by: using a condom over the dildo, switching condoms if you change who's being penetrated, choosing a non-porous dildo (medical-grade silicone is ideal), and washing the harness and toy after each use.

How to peg: Step by step

Now that you're both warmed up, talked it through, and feeling ready, here's how to move from prep to pleasure.

Choose a comfortable position

Start in a position that feels safe and makes it easy to talk to each other. Lifted missionary is great for eye contact and checking in. Doggy style can feel more relaxed and open. The main thing is to pick whatever feels good for both of you in the moment.

Take it slow

Use plenty of lube, and let your partner guide how quickly (or slowly) things go.

Keep talking and trusting each other

A simple check-in like "How's that?" or "Want to stay here for a bit?" can help gauge what they want and when. It's not about rushing, it's about finding a rhythm together.

Pay attention to rhythm and emotions

When it comes to rhythm, being in sync matters. If you’re moving at different speeds, it can throw things off. Pay attention to your partner. Are they moaning? Quiet? Suddenly tense? Those are all clues. If either of you starts feeling overwhelmed, just pause, breathe together, and reset. And remember: if something doesn’t feel good, you’re uncomfortable, or you want to stop, say so. You could even agree on a safe word or signal beforehand so there’s zero confusion in the moment.

Wrap things up gently

When you're finished (both figuratively and literally), slow things down before gently pulling out. Stay close afterwards, cuddle, or grab some water—whatever feels right.

Why do people enjoy pegging?

For some people, especially those with prostates, anal penetration can trigger sensations that just aren't possible through other types of sex. It can even lead to intense, full-body orgasms that feel completely different from other types of stimulation. Others simply enjoy the deep pressure, fullness, or rhythmic movement of penetration itself, no matter their anatomy.

There's also the emotional side. Pegging can flip the script on "traditional" sexual roles. As Gigi explains: "There is an element of role reversal—especially when we're talking about cis men being pegged, as it gives them an opportunity to experience something different. 

“There is also power play involved, as the person being pegged can take on more of a submissive role (which they may or may not be used to) and the person doing the pegging can feel more dominant." That shift in dynamic can be thrilling, intimate, or deeply affirming. 

Why do people enjoy giving?

Many people love pegging simply because it's a new way to connect, play, and give each other pleasure. As one Reddit user puts it: "Sometimes it's a power thing, sometimes it's just because it's another way to bring your partner pleasure, sometimes it's an emotional thing… and sometimes it's because fucking people is fun! It's becoming more popular because we're fighting the toxic masculinity & homophobic crap that says 'real men don't get fucked’ which is utter bullshit."

For givers, the turn-on can be both visual and emotional. One Reddit user shares: "It's cool to look down and see your strap-on penetrating their ass, knowing you're in control. I enjoy pleasing my partner, and having a man loudly moaning in pleasure from being pegged is a turn-on."

And for some, it's about reclaiming sex from shame, stigma, or narrow definitions of what's "normal." As this Reddit user explains: "Pegging is my passion. There are many misconceptions… but it can be a loving experience, even for couples who are otherwise vanilla. You don't have to be dominant; if you're into giving your partner pleasure, there are rewards."

Why do people enjoy receiving?

Pegging can be incredibly pleasurable for those on the receiving end. Physically, anal penetration hits a unique erogenous zone—the prostate—that's impossible to stimulate from the outside. As this person on Reddit explains: "Anal play is the way to go… a lot of guys are scared off by the [supposed] taboo of it, but it's fucking great. There's no real way of going back after messing with the p-spot."

But the appeal of pegging isn't just physical. Many people enjoy surrendering control in a safe, consensual context, and find that being penetrated doesn't threaten their confidence or masculinity; it can actually heighten pleasure. Feeld member James, 32, says: "It's not for everyone, but I think getting pegged is hot as fuck. I love it if a woman wants to be the dominant one; it doesn't make me feel insecure or emasculated in any way. It's a turn-on for her being turned on, and it feels amazing. There's a p-spot up there for a reason."

For some, pegging is also about shared exploration within a relationship. Connor, 34, explains: "My partner is pansexual. We've been together for more than a decade, and over the years, we've opened up our relationship to enjoy having sex with other women. I'm straight, [and] I've enjoyed being pegged.”

For both giver and receiver, pegging can offer a mix of sensation, intimacy, and playfulness that's hard to match. Whether it's about deepening trust, exploring power exchange, or simply finding a new way to make each other feel good, it's proof that great sex is as much about curiosity and communication as it is about technique.

Pegging myths and misconceptions

Pegging is linked to sexuality

"The biggest myth around pegging is that it somehow 'makes you gay.'" says Gigi, "This isn't accurate. The kinds of sex you have or sex acts you enjoy engaging in do not determine your sexuality. Wanting to be anally penetrated is totally normal and healthy for everyone, regardless of their genitals or sexuality. The anus is the universal sex organ everyone shares."

In other words, enjoying pegging—or any type of anal play—doesn't define who you’re attracted to. It's just another way to experience pleasure, explore your body, and connect with a partner.

Pegging is painful

A lot of people assume pegging has to hurt and, for some people, it might. But with the right preparation, plenty of lube, and a patient approach, pegging can be seriously pleasurable. Start slow, communicate openly, and focus on comfort first. Over time, many find that the sensations can even lead to intense, whole-body orgasms.

Pegging is unhygienic

Some worry pegging is messy or unclean but here's the reality: poop isn't stored in the anal canal (it's in the colon), so accidents are uncommon. A quick shower beforehand is usually sufficient, and optional steps like douching are just that: optional. Take your time, check in with your partner, and pegging can be clean, safe, and very enjoyable.

Pegging is only for kink or domination

While pegging can absolutely involve power dynamics or role play, it's not exclusive to those interested in kink. Many couples, or partners, incorporate it in playful, tender, or experimental ways. Ultimately it's about pleasure for both partners, whatever that looks like to you.

How to introduce pegging to a partner

Trying something new can feel exciting, a little nerve-wracking, or both. And it’s completely normal to have questions.

“How do I introduce pegging in a relationship?” Keep it casual. Share why the idea turns you on, ask what they think, and frame it as something you could explore together rather than something you expect. The more open the conversation, the easier it is to create a safe, sexy space to try new things.

“What should I know before suggesting pegging to my partner?” Know what excites you about it, be ready for questions, and learn the basics on safety and prep. Pegging works best when it’s rooted in trust and curiosity, not pressure.

And think about aftercare. Pegging can be intense in lots of ways. Gigi recommends giving aftercare as much thought as foreplay. “Aftercare is an essential component of play, especially new play. Determine what you need to feel safe and centered after sexual activity, and make time for those things post-pegging. Having space to digest, talk, and reconnect afterward helps you feel calm and safe in your body.”

When you’re ready to bring it up, here’s how to keep the conversation natural and playful:

• Start with open communication. Share what you’re curious about and invite them to share too. Knowing why you want to do something can help the other person decide if it's something they want and are interested in too. Keep it light rather than making it a “must.”
• Choose a relaxed moment. Bring it up when you’re both comfortable and not distracted, so you can give the conversation your full attention.
• Emphasize consent and shared interest. It’s more fun when you’re both genuinely into the idea. Make it clear there’s no pressure. If they're not into it, there are plenty of other things you can enjoy together.
• Be ready for questions. They might be curious, hesitant, or surprised. Treat it like a fun back-and-forth, rather than a debate.
• Be patient. If they’re not ready, that’s fine. Let the idea sit for a while and check in later. Sometimes the anticipation makes it even hotter.

Finding a pegging partner

Whether you’re talking with a long-term love, a new fling, or someone you’ve just met, finding the right pegging partner is less about luck and more about open, respectful connection.

• Start with honesty. Make space for real conversations about what you’re into, what you’re curious about, and where your boundaries are. When you’re upfront, you skip misunderstandings and lay the groundwork for trust.
• Ask instead of guessing. Don’t assume someone’s into it; invite them to share their feelings. Pegging works best when it’s something you both want to explore.
• Go at a comfortable pace. Bring up the idea slowly, give them time to think about it, and keep checking in. The more patience you bring, the better the experience tends to be.
• Explore like-minded communities: Apps like Feeld make it easier to find and connect with people who are into and looking for the same things you are. You can explore solo or together with partners who share your interests and values.

Pegging can be an exhilarating, intimate, and deeply satisfying experience, but it's not one-size-fits-all. Whether you're giving, receiving, or both, the most important elements of pegging are communication, consent, and curiosity.

Not into wearing a strap or getting pegged? No worries, there are countless ways to give and receive pleasure that work for you.

But if you're intrigued and ready to explore, there are connections waiting for you on Feeld. Start a conversation, discover like-minded people, and see where your curiosity takes you. You might just find your perfect bottom or top.