A guide to dating app tourism for places big and small

From big cities to small towns, dating apps offer new opportunities to explore while you travel. These connections might be romantic, sexual, platonic, or something in between, and are shaped by the temporary, transient nature of being away from home. 

As a freelance writer, I’ve spent years dating while on the move—including impromptu double dates in unfamiliar cities, and being on the other side of the dynamic, while playing host to people visiting my home in London. Let’s explore how dating and traveling plays out differently in big cities versus smaller towns, and how to navigate the experience—prioritizing safety and comfort, while still leaving room for spontaneity—shaped by personal experience, and community stories from Feeld members. 

What is dating app tourism?

Dating app tourism is exactly what it sounds like: using apps to connect with people while you’re traveling. Being away from home can mean the usual routines and expectations around dating fall away, making it easier to try something new or spontaneous. That might entail meeting locals, fellow visitors, or hometown returners; you might intend to make platonic connections, or maybe sexual or romantic ones, all while you’re exploring a different place. Meeting new people can also become part of what steadies you, or helps you in feeling confident and safe. 

Apps and communities like Feeld can offer refreshed perspectives—and a refreshed group of people—and the opportunity to learn something about a place that you just won’t get in a Google review. The stakes might feel lower, the options might feel broader, and it’s a great accompaniment to sightseeing.

Dates while you’re on vacation can take all shapes and forms: it could be a casual coffee, a late-night drink at an underground bar, or something with a bit more chemistry, if the vibe is right. And all of these scenarios operate through the shared understanding that the connection between you sits in that temporary, in-between space that’s inherent to traveling. 

Don’t be fooled by the name: Dating app tourism isn’t just reserved for vacation resorts; you might be visiting a big city, returning to your hometown, or exploring an off-grid rural location (usually leading to the most exciting stories). Still, the way you connect will be a little different in each place. In major cities, just as there are a million things to do and see, so there are a seemingly endless amount of people to meet and connect with. In smaller towns, the pace tends to be slower, conversations can feel more personal—and local recommendations can create unique experiences. 

Either way, combining travel with dating apps opens up another layer of exploring that mixes people and places in joyful, fulfilling ways. 

Using apps in big cities

There’s an intangible excitement about using Feeld in a major city. The pace, anonymity, variety of preferences, and kink positivity is enough to make even an experienced dater giddy. What people are often responding to is the sense of permission: to be upfront, exploratory, and perhaps a little bolder than they would be at home. What’s shared might be a window in time, or might end up outlasting the trip. As one Feeld member shares about a trip to San Diego, “We met up, talked, [and] met up again the next day for dinner… Made a friend for life.”  

Big cities can make it easier to build a date around whatever it is that you’re looking for. You could meet a local who offers to show you their favorite bar, or a traveler who simply shares that “we’re both not from here” excitement. When you’re dating in places that never really slow down—or you’re only there for a short amount of time—encounters can carry that same fast tempo. Feeld member Flo, a 41-year-old queer woman shares, “I had three dates in one evening combined with a play party in NYC!”

One of my own favorite experiences of dating app tourism was when I met up with a friend in Rome for the weekend. The city was new to us both and, after dropping our things and finding a streetside café to enjoy some wine and catch up, we realized we should really go on a double date while we were there. It was a last-minute decision, and one that we didn’t waste any time with. 

We ended up meeting two friends who were Rome locals: one was extroverted and looked like he’d stepped straight out of the ’80s, and the other was devastatingly handsome but—unlike his teammate—spoke little English. We shared bottles of wine and talked our way through borderline controversial topics, most notably getting stuck on how the two of them didn’t actually like Italy that much and wanted to move away. They’d told us that was one of the reasons they wanted to meet us: to hear about our travels and how we’d found the transition moving from Australia to London. The night ended at around 3am when they walked us past the Vatican and back to our accommodation. The date was fun, but it wasn’t quite the night for an orgy, so we left it at that. 

In these settings especially, sometimes connection doesn’t need to be defined by longevity, and is instead marked by immediacy and pleasure in spending an evening in good conversation with someone new. 

Small towns and rural romances 

If big cities are for fast-paced dates and sexy nights out, then small towns are definitely for the romantics. The speed calms right down and can create a satisfyingly slow-burn dynamic. With small towns naturally comes a smaller pool of people, but that doesn’t mean the connections are any less intentional and rewarding. 

Dates might instead center around simple pleasures: walking along a river, sharing a local meal, or visiting a tucked-away gallery. Feeld members who’ve used the app in rural or smaller places often describe this kind of connection as refreshing, with a sense of being able to take your time and indulge in the charm of local sincerity. 

Off-grid locations, which are quieter and less transient, can make a connection feel deliberate and worth exploring. One member recalled opening the app while passing through a town in Arizona: “I saw I had a like and met a cool blonde hair queen, one thing led to another... We met up and had a mind-blowing 6 hours.” They shared an experience, shaped by the happy simplicity of pausing in a new place with someone and no crowd to disappear into. 

Tips for using Feeld in a new location 

Like with any kind of traveling, at least a little bit of planning might be required (unless you’re spontaneous like that). A good place to start is by updating your profile to reflect that you’re on the road—mentioning that you’re exploring or “passing through” a place so that you’re setting expectations early. 

This might involve being upfront in your bio or messages about what kind of connection you’re open to, as one member advises: “Look in advance of travel, be fully transparent about desires, expectations, and boundaries,” says Michael, 45, gender nonconformist, straight/bi-curious.

If you want to make connections before you actually arrive in a place, you can explore popular and virtual locations on Feeld—which can be helpful if you’re only in a new place for a weekend and want to warm up the connection before you get there. In the Discover tab, you can select the Location filter and choose from either your current location, or a list of 45 popular locations (including cities like Amsterdam, Los Angeles, London, Singapore, Sydney, and São Paulo). There’s also the option to choose from three Virtual Locations which don’t correspond to any geographical place—simply digital spaces to make remote connections around the world. See the full list of locations here. 

All of these small actions can go a long way to creating space for connection without confusion, and letting people meet each other where they realistically are. 

How to stay safe when dating while travelling

When it comes to logistics, you’ll likely feel safer and more comfortable if you book your own accommodation. Having your own place keeps things on your terms: it gives you flexibility, safety, and helps set boundaries with a new person. If you meet someone and hit it off, and decide you want to stay with them after that, then that’s a great choice that you get to make. 

There are also general safety considerations that can apply to any location: meeting in public places, trusting your instincts, and sharing your location with a friend, if that helps you feel secure. Feeld’s verification tool (where members match a profile photo to a live selfie) can help add an extra layer of trust, too. As Feeld member Flo suggests, “If you have close friends at your destination (or at home), share your location with them on a maps app. I also like to get the full name and phone numbers of [people] I'm hooking up with and give the info to my primary partner and my friends who live at my vacation destination just in case.” 

When traveling to a new place it’s important to be mindful of local laws, customs, and social attitudes—particularly in places where LGBTQIA+ identities, public displays of affection, gender nonconformity or kink practices may be frowned upon, policed, or even criminalized. Before you go, research the destination to gauge how accepting it is, and whether public intimacy or forms of self-expression could pose a risk to your safety and wellbeing. It’s also worth checking what you can and can’t bring through airport security, as some countries have more restrictions around toys. Find out more in our guide to traveling with kink gear. 

Overall, stay informed, travel consciously, and trust your instincts. 

How to be a great dating app host

If the shoe’s on the other foot and you’re the local connecting with travelers, you might think of yourself as the one with the plan rather than a tour operator. Being a great host means generously offering a glimpse into your world to someone passing through, without an expectation of it turning into more.  

It’s a good idea to set your own pace and boundaries from the start—you don’t have to commit to being someone’s travel buddy for their entire trip. You can design your time in whatever way works and feels most fulfilling. 

More than anything, hosting can be a surprisingly rewarding experience and the “vacation energy” from the other person can bring a different dynamic (and maybe even make for some of the best dates). It gives you a chance to see your place through new eyes, and maybe even rediscover what makes it special. 

That’s one of the many types of fulfilling connections Feeld can offer: one that expands both your map and your mindset. Ready to explore?