How to travel with kink gear: for holiday season and beyond

Sure, jetting off to another city gives us a chance to check out a new kink scene, maybe play with a partner we don’t often get to see, or just generally enjoy the libido boost that can come with a break in our routines. But many kinksters have heard horror stories about airport security freaking out when a vibrator goes off in a bag, pulling people out of lines to ask them pointed and public questions about their cuffs or plugs, or even confiscating expensive floggers or rope kits. Uncertainty about what we can or can’t bring on a plane, how to pack and present ourselves to avoid issues in transit, and what to do if we run into trouble with an official can all dampen the joys and amplify the anxieties of holiday travel. 

To address these common points of confusion, we reached out to a half dozen prominent kink educators and performers who frequently travel with gear for work. Here’s their hard-earned advice on how to travel confidently and comfortably as a fully-equipped kink enthusiast in the coming weeks.

Carry-ons and security

As the rules and fees around checking bags grow more extravagant, a rising number of flyers prefer to travel with one simple carry-on bag whenever possible. Even casual and infrequent travelers know that you can’t bring a potentially dangerous object onto a plane. So common sense dictates that you can’t put, say, your blade play gear in your carry-on. But what about handcuffs and ropes? Impact toys and whips? An absolutely massive steel dildo? 

Officially, the TSA says that passengers can take any adult gear that doesn’t violate other rules (e.g., isn’t a bladed object, doesn’t contain more than 3.4 ounces of liquid, etc.) onto flights in the carry-on or checked bags. While a uniquely American agency, TSA rulings try to align with and reflect global norms, so they’re a decent rule of thumb. Still, it’s important to ensure you’re following local guidelines, especially when traveling to more sexually conservative nations. Countries like the United Arab Emirates still ban sex toys outright, and the consequences for violations of these laws can be severe. So for the sake of personal safety, always double-check the finer points of local laws before you actually set out on a trip. 

Jet-setting kink educators say it is often possible to go through security with a broad array of kink gear in your go bag.

“I travel with my full rope bondage bag—suspension ring, rigging plate, various carabiners, and a ton of rope—in my carry-on all the time,” says rope performer and instructor Shay Tiziano. “The TSA usually doesn’t even raise an eyebrow.” 

“I’ve had floggers, nipple clamps, dildos, things like that get through,” adds kink-positive therapist and kinky sex educator Galen Fous. 

But security agents are trained to stop and inspect anyone carrying something they don’t recognize, explains sex and pleasure educator Luna Matatas, out of an abundance of caution.  

“At regional airports, they’re usually on higher alert than somewhere like LAX, where if they stopped every vibrator that came through the scanner no flights would ever leave on time,” adds BDSM educator Lina Dune. “So consider how jaded the TSA is where you’re going.” 

Clearly harmless items, like a ball gag, silk blindfold, or silicon butt plug, will usually get a quick glance and a move-along. But if a security agent thinks you could potentially use something as a weapon on a plane, they can question you and even confiscate that object—even if doing so is arguably against standing policies. “You never know what security may think is a weapon,” cautions BDSM teacher Ms. Morgan Thorne. But generally, the bigger and more solid the item—think a metal dildo the size of your forearm or a long wooden flogger—the greater the risk. 

“I’ve had a number of items confiscated,” recalls Fous. “Like a single-tail whip that was about $500, which they claimed was dangerous.” 

“These are people trained to be hypervigilant,” he explains. Their actions may seem extreme, but they’d rather be a bit of a jerk than let something through that does cause an issue later.  

Checked bag pros and cons 

Even if it’s not always necessary, Matatas recommends packing any oddly-shaped, big, and solid gear in a checked bag rather than a carry-on, just to minimize your risk of confrontation and confiscation. If you want to travel with a blade or some other clearly banned carry-on item, you’re going to need checked luggage anyway. And if you’re not worried about confiscation, but just don’t want the potential embarrassment of getting pulled out of line and loudly questioned by an agent pulling all of your clearly kinky items out of your bag, then Fous recommends packing everything adult-themed in that checked bag. Thorne for one says she never puts her toys in her carry-on.

But checked bags aren’t a perfect solution. Security agents can still search them, and sometimes confiscate items—or just forget to return them. Thorne often puts a note on expensive gear in her checked bag, explaining what it is and how it’s used, as well as an itemized list of everything she’s packed. “This lets them know what to expect,” she explains, mitigating the risk of confusion or confiscation. “And it lets them know that I’m keeping track of anything that might ‘wander off.’” 

Although it’s not common, checked bags may also end up “stolen, rerouted, or damaged,” cautions kink expert and educator Midori.

If you’re still worried about confiscation, damage, or loss—or if your gear is particularly big and unwieldy, like a collapsable suspension rig—then Matatas suggests shipping it ahead of you. 

But that’s a logistically complicated and potentially expensive solution. And some people may not be able to afford to travel with a checked bag, Fous acknowledges, let alone pay for shipping. So whether as a matter of finance, because you’re traveling with something you can’t put in a checked bag but can put in a carry-on (like lithium-ion batteries), or out of a desire to keep your precious items in sight and under your direct control, sometimes you still need to bring your kink gear in your carry-on and brave the security line. 

As there’s no surefire way to keep your toys and tools safe when traveling, Midori cautions, “if you don’t want to lose something, don’t bring it.” 

And because the precise rules on what’s likely to get confiscated—or get you in legal trouble—vary from one jurisdiction to the next, and change from year to year, again, it is always important to double check your destination’s regulations before you decide what to put in which bag, or what to leave behind. If you can’t find clear rulings, then Thorne suggests calling the authorities. “I’ve contacted the embassies of countries I wanted to visit to ask about items,” she says. They exist to offer travelers clarity. 

Packing with security in mind 

Whatever type of bag you opt for, the experts we spoke to stress that you ought to pack with security in mind. For carry-ons, that means checking or leaving behind anything you think someone could even remotely perceive as a potential weapon. “I take my expensive safety shears out of my bondage bag,” explains Tiziano, “because they also have a seatbelt cutter, and I don’t want to chance them being taken away.” 

For any sort of bag, it’s a good idea to not try to bury or hide your kink gear. The security agents searching you will just have to go digging, increasing the chance that something gets messed up or lost. 

Speaking of messes, “ropes get tangled and floggers shed,” Matatas cautions. So try to separate your items, like you would toiletries. And of course it’s generally a good idea to cushion anything delicate and bag anything that contains liquids that might explode under pressure. 

“I make sure to pack everything in clear zipper-top bags,” adds Thorne, “so they don’t have to touch anything to see what it is.” It never hurts to label your items either—some experts suggest that if you can include an item’s original packaging, it may alleviate security concerns. 

“I’ve heard some people suggest putting a few vibrators and dildos on top of your ‘scary’ kink gear,” Tiziano notes, “to make it clear that you’re in it for sexy times,” before they jump to any other troublesome conclusions. 

Also, remember to remove the batteries from your toys, or activate a travel lock or run down the charge if you can't remove them. Nothing causes a scene like a vibrator going off in transit. 

“I was once in line for check-in when the luggage of the couple in front of me started shaking,” recalls Midori. “In front of everyone, they had to splay open their bag to extract this giant vibrating toy.” 

If your bag gets flagged for inspection, remember that in the U.S. at least you have the right to request a private screening, if you’re more worried about embarrassment than speed. But whether behind closed doors or in public, getting nervous or angry won’t help you keep your stuff safe and secure, Thorne explains. Rather, you’ll likely only invite more scrutiny, she adds.

“Just be polite and upbeat,” Dune suggests. Answer questions simply and directly.

It’s likely that most security agents won’t hassle you. They just want to keep things moving—and they’ve seen it all. But if you do get slut-shamed, you may choose to ask for a name and badge number in order to make a report after you’ve reached your destination, if you ultimately decide that feels right or necessary—and if you feel safe to do so. 

Avoiding packing kink gear entirely 

If all this strategizing around ambiguity feels difficult or stressful, you could buy a few items designed specifically with travel regulations in mind. “I have a few cheap kink accessories that I leave in my suitcase for trips,” says Dune, who travels often but hates the process of packing. “Stuff like a Velcro pair of handcuffs that I bought in Tokyo, a little paddle, travel-sized lube, etc.”

Granted, travel-sized items might not scratch your particular itch, or they may not be large enough or feel right for you. If so, then the educators we spoke to suggest that you consider going in the opposite direction, packing everyday items that you can repurpose into kink gear to suit your particular desires. This might include silk ties that can be used as restraints later in the day, or boots that align with role play ideas. 

“It saves on weight and space,” adds Amp, a sex educator and co-host of the Watts the Safeword podcast. 

That said, Feeld suggests using established products designed specifically for play whenever possible, as it tends to reduce the chance of a mishap. Your everyday travel items may also have limited convertible potential, Dune acknowledges. So “if you really need something else, connecting with local sex stores on vacation is always a delight.” 

Granted, you might not have access to a sex store at your destination. In the end, you know your abilities and comfort level better than anyone else. Let that be your guide on all of this. 

If—for whatever reason—you're worried about airport scrutiny, privacy at your destination, or anything else, then Dune suggests just traveling without any gear at all. “Remember, the biggest kink toy is your brain,” she says. Imagination and role play can bring you plenty of kinky fun even if you have to live without specialized equipment for a few days—and no one can confiscate that.  

For many, being part of the kink community means connecting with like-minded people who understand the range of your desires. Find your people, and more about yourself, on Feeld.