How does a dating app like Feeld fit into your day-to-day life? We’re taking a closer look at how real people from our community use Feeld over the course of one week—whether that’s back-to-back dates, verbal foreplay, or a reflective time on one’s own.
Welcome to a Week on Feeld with Texas T, a 35-year-old bisexual man in Austin, who’s taking part in Locktober (the month-long chastity event that makes “locking up” a seasonal occasion). Our writer explores his Locktober motivations, and how his Feeld connections are shaped by discipline and anticipation.
Tuesday
As I enter the penultimate week of my favorite month, I'm patting myself on the proverbial back for making it so close to the finish line without touching my key, outside of brief daily unlocks when I'm showering. I'm wearing a metal cage, after all, and we can't have it rusting now can we? This year is my fourth Locktober as the person who’s locked up (I've had the privilege of being a keyholder with two separate partners in the past), and my first Locktober self-locking, which means the only thing standing between me and freedom is my own self-restraint.
That's what I've learned to love about chastity, though. Some kinks we indulge for the pure pleasure of it, and others we indulge for the mental stimulation and erotic, emotional rush that comes with it. But this kink, I think, is unique. For me, it’s about exercising discipline, and placing my partner's pleasure and desires first and foremost. If I can't access my own genitals, that means the only thing I can focus my sexual energy and frustration on are my partner's. As a result, some of the best sex I've ever had—somewhat counter-intuitively—has taken place while I was locked.
Wednesday
Self-locking has an interesting way of making one reminisce back to the times when one had a keyholder, and I've found myself reaching out to all three of my former keyholders over the course of this month. Today, I had a wonderful conversation with a former girlfriend (let's call her Vivian) who I actually met on Feeld about three years ago—and who was my keyholder for the majority of the eight months that she and I dated.
Vivian and I have stayed in sporadic contact since we split (due to distance) and she loves hearing about my ongoing explorations, and is especially gratified when I tell her about submissive experiences I've been having. As a switch, I've had a plethora of encounters on both sides of the slash, but when I was with Vivian she kept me firmly on the sub side. We had a unique sex life that we always reminisce on whenever we reconnect. She is a trans woman, a dominant, and a total top. During the relationship, I enjoyed long-term chastity, which happened to be Vivian's main kink.
We spent a solid hour today chatting and looking back on the time we spent together, and I relished every moment of it. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
Thursday
Some folks do their best to keep their minds on anything other than sex in order to help them get through long periods of chastity. Not me, though. The first keyholder I ever had was a strict yet sensual Domme who enjoyed a deliciously sadistic practice she called "chasti-tease," where she would unlock me for one hour a day and edge me before locking me back up again, sans release. Perhaps I developed a masochistic streak as a result of the time I spent under her control, because I've spent a lot of time this Locktober reconnecting with old partners and actively seeking new ones online, an activity that always touches that sweet spot between temptation and denial.
Feeld is my favorite app to find prospective partners on, and the one where I've had the best results. Today I found myself shifting my location around in the app to neighboring cities, intrigued to explore beyond my own humble locale. One new connection was a handsome bisexual gentleman exploring one of the other cities in my state, with a plan to relocate there sometime in the next few months. We had a lovely discussion about our sexual journeys, predilections, and what sort of companionship he was hoping to find on Feeld ahead of moving to his new city.
The conversation turned sexual fairly quickly, and I shared that I was locked—which was a kink he turned out to be very familiar with. It's always wonderful when you connect with someone who already understands some of the sexual psychology that gets you going, before you even meet in person. Perhaps I'll get a chance to meet with him once he's settled into his new home. Looking forward to tomorrow, and the end of a long week.
Friday
I got the weekend off to a fun start by going to a concert with some friends, which meant I needed to trade in the heavier metal cage that I wear at home and during sexual encounters for a silicone cage that's built for comfort and long-term wear (and is significantly more discreet). It was a wonderful evening all in all, and going to an event while locked always brings up a unique thrill. What would my fellow concert-goers think if they knew I was locked? For that matter, how many others in the crowd might be participating in Locktober just the same as myself? There's no way to know, and thus, the imagination steps in to fill the possibilities.
After the concert, a notification popped up on my phone. It was another Feeld connection, this time much more local. An older woman and recent divorcee who was on the app looking for consistent yet casual connections, which happen to be my favorite kind. The conversation flowed easily in the way that intriguing new interactions often do, and—feeling extra bold—I suggested that we make plans to meet the following day, since I had a rare open Saturday ahead of me. She agreed.
Saturday
I decided to go to bed wearing my silicone cage for extra comfort, which meant that I slept exceptionally well and woke up excited to meet my new Feeld connection. We messaged back and forth throughout the day. As for whether to tell her about my unique situation, I decided to cross that bridge when we came to it—who knows how the evening would go (and perhaps we wouldn’t get to that point anyway).
We had instant chemistry, and wound up back at her place after a few drinks, meaning I was faced with a delicious conundrum, which I solved by keeping my own clothes on, while hers came off—and I fully focused on giving. This sort of dynamic—where one partner concentrates entirely on the other’s pleasure, with no concern for reciprocation—is the sexiest and most erotic sort there is. Suffice it to say that we have our second date planned for after the 31st, when I'll be free once again.
Sunday
In my household, Sunday is chores day, and cleaning up around the house while wearing nothing but my cage (with the blinds drawn, of course, so as not to scandalize the neighbors) reminded me of the dynamic I had with my former Domme, the one who taught me all about "chasti-tease." A common part of my service to her involved me doing chores around her house, sometimes while locked, other times while free (so she could tease me in between tasks), but always in the nude. Sometimes it's that more casual, everyday sort of intimacy that sticks in your mind and forms especially fond memories, as was the case today.
Chores complete, I settled in for a relaxing evening. My Feeld connection from the previous day texted to say she’d had a wonderful time, and asked about my schedule this upcoming week. I was torn—on the one hand, the idea of spending another evening with her was a delightful one. On the other, part of me wanted to wait until I was fully freed. I told her I'd get back to her tomorrow once I'd had a chance to look at my schedule. The last week before Halloween is a busy time, after all.
Monday
A hectic start to the week, at least in professional terms. I ended up working later today than I usually do, and got home with an urgent need to decompress and relax. The last week of Locktober is always the hardest (literally and figuratively) and I found myself very tempted to cheat on my personal challenge. Discipline, though, is an important aspect for me—and I'd nearly made it to the home stretch—so I did what locked individuals do best, and I focused my energy outward. A friend (with benefits) from out of town happened to be visiting this week, so I texted him and asked if he was free to come over. He was also working late as it turned out, and was after the same decompression as myself, so my timing was serendipitous. He came over, made himself at home, and then I had the privilege of resuming the giving role I’d so keenly stepped into after my Saturday date. We were both very satisfied in our separate ways, and he said he'd be back later in the week for more, which I was eagerly looking forward to.
Tuesday
A less stressful day at the office than Monday, thankfully, and with less on my plate, I had energy to focus on more exciting things. On my lunch break, I texted my Feeld date from Saturday night and told her I was free either the day before Halloween, or the day after. I decided I'd play a fun little game of chance with myself waiting to see which evening she chose, or perhaps fate would decide for us, if she was already only free one day or the other. The game was this: if she chose Saturday, since that would be the 1st of November, I'd meet her unlocked and fully available, and she need never know about my cage, unless the dynamic naturally tended toward that sort of exploration. But if she chose Thursday (when I’d still be locked), then I'd tell her exactly why she wouldn't be able to access the rest of me for another few days.
I was tingling with excitement as I returned to work, wondering which option would be chosen. How would she take it if Thursday ended up being the choice? Would she be turned off by it? Would she be bemused? Would she be into it? Only time would tell. As I finished up for the day, I checked my phone to see if she'd had a chance to reply. When I saw that she had, I read out her response.
"Either works for me, but I'll have more time to spend if we do Saturday."
I hadn't anticipated this. Now the ball was back in my court. Which one should I choose?
Driven by my ever-mounting arousal and the nervous excitement I felt about sharing this secret side of myself with this electric new partner I'd found, I decided to pick a new third option.
"Let's do both. Thursday for sure, and if you have as good of a time as you did last weekend and you don't want to wait, Saturday as well."
I can't wait to see how the rest of the week unfolds.
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