The Feeld guide to Locktober

Every October, some fans of chastity play—which is a niche within BDSM—embrace the thrill of voluntarily “locking up” their genitals for a set period of time, either solo or with a partner. It’s part teasing, part discipline, and all about erotic anticipation. 

If you’ve got questions, you’re likely not alone. What does Locktober actually look like? Why do people do it? And if you’re gonna explore it, where the hell do you start? 

With the help of sex and relationships therapist Rafaella Fiallo, let’s talk about it.

What is Locktober?

Locktober is an event or “challenge” within the kink community where participants wear a chastity device—like a cage or belt—for part or all of October. Chastity devices are designed to “lock up” your genitals, physically preventing you from having sex, masturbating, and orgasming. 

Some people partake in Locktober with “keyholders,” AKA dominant partners who hold the key to their device, while others “self-lock,” meaning they participate solo (they might ask a friend to keep the key, or just put it somewhere that’s not super easily accessible).

“One version of Locktober is to stay locked for the full 31 days of the month,” explains Fiallo, “but in practice, it can look different for everyone. Some people make a shorter commitment of a weekend, a week, or maybe just a few days.” 

You might wear the device for a set amount of time per day (like a few hours), or you might keep it on all day. You might indulge in kink and play while you wear it—teasing, pleasuring a partner, taking sexy photos of yourself—or it might just be about getting through the wear time.

While Locktober is widely known for its origin in male chastity, the practice is open to people of all genders. And as for Locktober “rules,” they can take shape however you want them to. Some folks see this as an opportunity to “challenge” themselves—so you might think about what “challenging yourself” looks like to you. However, others simply enjoy the deeper connection to their own desire.

“Locktober can be playful, erotic, or deeply symbolic depending on intention,” Fiallo sums up. “It works best when approached with curiosity, clear boundaries, and intention—and a sense of fun, not pressure.”

Why do people participate in Locktober?

So, what’s the motivation behind locking up? 

As we said, Locktober is about chastity play—which involves denying yourself or a partner sexual gratification, often for an extended period, as a means for erotic teasing and tension. Some folks go wild for the heady mix of power, denial, devotion, and submission it involves. Plus, “extended denial can intensify arousal and make eventual release feel more powerful,” says Fiallo. 

There can be more to Locktober, too. Psychologically, “some enjoy the endurance, discipline, or ritual aspect of it—treating it almost like an erotic marathon, or even an opportunity to focus on other areas of their life,” says Fiallo.

Wearing a device can heighten body awareness, helping people develop a more mindful relationship with their physical desires—plus, it’s an opportunity to lean into other forms of play and intimacy, beyond sex and penetration. 

And finally, there’s the community aspect. “Taking part in Locktober can feel like joining a shared challenge with others around the world, even if it's privately practiced,” says Fiallo. 

How to prepare for Locktober

This is a Public Service Announcement: Locktober isn’t just something you wake up and decide to do on the 1st of the month. To stay safe and have fun, there are a few things you’ll need to think about in advance. Here are Fiallo’s pro tips.

Do your research 

Since Locktober can look different for everyone, you’ll want to spend time in advance reading up and figuring out what feels right for you. Crucially, explore the different types of devices available (there’s a bunch), and find the best fit for your body. 

“Comfort and hygiene are key,” says Fiallo, “so test different sizes and materials—silicone, resin, stainless steel—well before October.” Look into what else you might need to make wearing it more comfortable—Fiallo mentions lube and powder as possibilities to reduce friction—and do the work to find reputable vendors.

Practice, explore, test

If you’re new to chastity play, it’s not advised to jump straight into a month-long stint with a device, Fiallo says. “Try a few hours, overnight, or a weekend before committing,” she suggests, and test out any tasks you’ll need to be doing when you wear it: sleeping, driving, working out, horseback riding, whatever.

Plus, know that chastity play doesn’t have to involve a device. You can also just rawdog it with sheer willpower. So, explore using a device versus not, Fiallo suggests—see how both experiences land with you physically, psychologically, and sexually—and go from there.

Get crystal clear on your boundaries

This one’s vital. “If you’re playing with a partner, get clear about rules, safe words, check-ins, and what happens if you need out of the device,” says Fiallo. 

Discuss how long the lock-up’s going to last, what you want that duration of time to look like, and how and when you’ll check in to ensure everyone’s still having a good experience. If a friend or partner is the only one with a key, discuss whether you want a spare key or code word for emergencies.

While some people approach Locktober as a challenge with guidelines or “rules,” it’s not about pain or distress. It’s about finding pleasure in denial. So you need to be clear on how to facilitate that for everyone involved.

How to enjoy Locktober safely

October is here. You’ve done your prep. So what about making it through the month—and ensuring a sexy, satisfying, and safe experience?

Here are some Locktober guidelines to follow, courtesy of Fiallo.

• Prioritize hygiene. “Daily cleaning is essential, especially with longer wear,” says Fiallo. “Remove as needed to wash the body and clean the device thoroughly, dry fully, and reapply lube or powder." Consider keeping a kit to hand with everything you need in one place, and choose a set time of day you’ll do it (consistency helps). 
• Listen to your body. “Numbness, swelling, pain, or skin breakdown are red flags,” Fiallo adds. “Take breaks if you need to. There's no ‘failure’ in stopping.” When you do your daily cleans, you might want to factor in a quick check for any irritation at the same time.
• Don’t skimp on aftercare. “Long denial can be intense, so aftercare—physical and emotional—helps you process the experience,” Fiallo explains. This might include warm showers, gentle massages, meditation, journaling, or talking with a partner about how the experience felt. If you’re practising with a partner, take a look at our guide to communicating your aftercare needs.

And last but not least: Make it fun. Think rituals, rewards, and activities. Want inspo? Read on.

Locktober ideas

Locktober isn’t just about wearing a device—it’s about turning the month into a playful, teasing, and erotic experience. With that in mind, here are some Locktober ideas to keep things interesting.

• Sexy selfies: Take photos of yourself in your Locktober gear, and explore poses and outfits that make you feel confident and sexy. Send them to any partner(s) if it feels right. Equally, you could also ask your partner(s) to send you sexy photos of themselves, as a way to playfully delve into teasing you.
• Fantasy journaling: If you want to tease yourself, write down 10 ways you’d love to cum, or sexy scenarios that you’re aching for. You might read these aloud to a partner or, if they’re practicing dominance, they might order you to do so.
• Partner control: If you’re playing in a dominant-submissive dynamic with a partner,  they might tease you, order you to do tasks or chores, have you pleasure them, or allow you some non-genital fun (a 30-minute makeout session might send your frustration through the roof, but boy will it be hot).
• Edge yourself: While chastity devices obstruct direct stimulation, you may be able to access parts of your genitals, or you can show some love to other erogenous zones around your body—like your neck, ears, nipples, or thighs. See how close you can get to cumming, without ever actually cumming.
• Add accessories into the mix: There are so many toys to play with that don’t directly involve your genitals. Butt plugs, nipple clamps, anal beads, you name it. You could also experiment with sensation play—think feathers, ice cubes, or spanking. All of this can be done with a partner, or built into solo edging.
• Rewards: Celebrate wins, if it feels right, whether it’s keeping the device on for a month, a week, or a day. Treat yourself, or have a partner reward you—this might be with a special date, a favorite indulgence, or by pleasuring you any way you like. 

But remember: it’s not a failure to remove the device at any point, or to not complete the “challenge” you might have set for yourself. You have total freedom to cut Locktober short, or to modify how you’re taking part, whenever you need to. It’s about pleasure and enjoyment, not winning or losing.

Ultimately, Locktober can look however you want it to. So enjoy the exploration, anticipation, and variety of pleasures and challenges along the way. With clear boundaries, attention to safety, and a strong sense of play and curiosity, Locktober can be an exhilarating—if kinda frustrating—experience. So, this spooky season, lock in, lean in, and see where the month takes you. 

And if you want to connect with others who understand the range and depth of your desires, you can find them on Feeld.