The Role of Allies in the LGBTQIA+ Community

According to a survey by IPSOS in 2023, the LGBTQIA+ community only makes up 9% of the global population, which means that they are in the vast minority in places like work, education, public settings, and social spaces. This leaves room for non-queer folk to not only advocate for the LGBTQIA+ community but to also cultivate safe, inclusive, and welcoming places, and to help and educate others to understand how important equality and acceptance is for all of us.  

What does it mean to be a true ally to LGBTQIA+ people? Essentially,an ally is someone who is  vocally and visually supportive of the community, helping curate a safe environment for people to safely come out, and to end the spread of misinformation, ignorance, and the continued erasure of LGBTQIA+ rights. Allies can do this by advocating and raising awareness for the community, being there to understand and listen, and defending the group when needed. So, what does being an ally actually look like in everyday life? In this piece, we’ll walk through a bunch of ways you can step up and show your support—whether that’s through actions, conversations, or just staying informed. We get that everyone’s coming from different places: you might have time constraints, physical limitations, or maybe you’re worried you don’t know enough to get it right. That’s okay. The good news is there’s always something you can do to make a difference, and we’re here to help you figure out what that looks like for you.

What does it mean to be an LGBTQ ally?

In a recent interview with Variety magazine, Nicola Coughlan said “being an ally is about letting yourself ‘be the buffer.’” “It’s all fun to go to Pride, wave a flag, and watch Ru Paul’s Drag Race but are you going to be there for people when it’s awkward and uncomfortable?” This is a great example of what being an LGBTQIA+ ally is all about—being the in-between person standing up and advocating for people whose voices go unheard, even when the situation might be challenging or even confrontational. This can involve situations outside of LGBTQIA+ demonstrations and arguing with online bigots, such as; speaking up to family members, or work colleagues. These can actually be the most difficult time to speak up, but this is an important part of advocacy and allyship. Supporting people when they aren’t there or it isn’t safe to speak up for themselves is a significant way to help the community. 

Undoubtedly as an ally you care a lot about the LGBTQIA+ community and discrimination it faces, but an important part of being a good ally is humility. None of us want to offend anyone or make a mistake, but if someone from the community corrects us rather than feeling embarrassed or even hurt, being a good ally means being open to listening, correcting any mistakes, and being open to learning new things. The LGBTQIA+ community doesn’t expect you to be perfect, and by being open and willing to learn shows people that you are supportive and trusted. 

Making yourself known as a trusted ally who will be there to be supportive and listen to problems when things are rough can be just as critical as joining pride demonstrations or vocalizing support online. Just being accepting and non-judgmental can mean the world to someone who is struggling. Without having to justify themselves to someone every time they open up, this can be extremely relieving and gives people a space to talk about problems and concerns without the fear of being judged or even persecuted for their sexual preferences or gender. However, it’s important to know that being supportive without also practicing advocacy and the ability to listen and learn, is perceived by the community to not be sufficient according to research performed by the Harvard Business Review. It’s also worth reflecting on the difference between genuine allyship and what’s sometimes called performative allyship, when actions may look supportive on the surface but don’t lead to real change. For example, some brands may “rainbow wash” during Pride Month—using rainbow imagery to show support without donating to LGBTQIA+ causes or advocating for meaningful policy change. Similarly, folks might share supportive messages or wear Pride merchandise but avoid the more challenging work of speaking out in everyday situations or educating themselves and others.

As far back as the Stonewall Riots, relationships between (often) straight allies and the LGBTQIA+ community have been crucial to achieving civil rights. The Gay Liberation Front emerged in the US, after the riot, and drew a lot of inspiration from the Black Panthers. Often facing similar types of persecution as other marginalized groups, the Black Power, feminist, and gay liberation movements came together to learn from each other. The Gay Liberation Front organized the first Pride event on the anniversary of Stonewall, and opened a Chapter in the UK which was involved in the first Gay Pride rally in London just two years after Stonewall.

In the past 50 years a lot has progressed, with the prevalence of multiple and varied visibility days such as Transgender Day of Visibility, Ace Week, Intersex Awareness Day. These visibility days have gone a long way to normalizing the diversity and prevalence involved in the LGBTQA+ community to the public and people outside of the community. 

And more recently, in the past 10 years or so, the rise of intersectionality, particularly fourth wave intersectional feminism, utilized social media and the internet to focus and communicate issues like rape culture, but also heavily promoted the inclusion of Queer people, and particularly Trans Women. 

What does straight ally mean in the LGBTQIA+ context?

As a straight person (someone who identifies as a heterosexual) you can absolutely be an important and often crucial ally to the LGBTQIA+ community. We talked about how to advocate for the community, especially when their voices aren’t able to be heard or it may even be dangerous for them to be acknowledged. Simply by being a hetrosexual person, who is understanding and accepting, your voice could carry more weight and conviction when educating or justifying LGBTQIA+ issues and rights to people who perhaps are also straight, or may not have had any exposure to queer culture.

There are a lot of great examples of straight allies using their voices to advocate and bring awareness for the community. It shouldn’t be a surprise that Charlie XCX is a huge advocate and ally for LGBTQIA+ rights. Vocally crediting her success to the eponymous music producer and songwriter SOPHIE, a trans woman who pioneered the Hyper Pop/PC music genre, Charlie also collaborates with many queer artists such as Troye Sivan, Kim Petras, and Big Freedia. Charlie has even thrown an exclusive queer festival with Troye Sivan, by and for queer people, with the event proceeds going to the GLAAD charity. 

It’s also never too late to become a straight ally; American Rapper A$AP Rocky openly admitted, and subsequently apologized, that he used to be homophobic. But since then he has been vocal about gay and trans rights, involving himself in LGBT homeless youth charities and crediting his relationships with gay designers for his love of fashion. 

What does being a cis ally mean?

Firstly let's break down what it means to be cis. Cis (or cisgender) is a prefix that simply means that you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth with. Trans or transgender and non-binary are prefixes that, generally mean, you identify with a different gender than the one you were assigned at birth. You can be cis and straight (sometimes known as cishet), or be cis and be part of the LGBTQIA+ community. 

The LGBTQIA+ community is diverse, which means that there can be cis gay people, cis bi people and there can also be trans lesbians, trans ace/aro people, and non-binary gay people. Just like straight allies, cis allies’ voices are essential proponents for the rights of the community. Often, trans, non-binary and gender fluid people are more marginalized and victimised outside and in fact inside the LGBTQIA+ community. If cis allies from both sides of the community speak up, more credence and credibility is given to their voices and objectives, therefore helping our trans, non-binary, and gender fluid brothers and sisters.

A person such as Pedro Pascal is a great example of a cis ally. Having been incredibly vocal in supporting his trans sister Lux, he consistently uses his platform to speak out about transphobia, trans rights, and has even publicly criticised anti-trans movements and individuals such as JK Rowling. He has even been seen wearing the iconic Conner Ives “Protect the Dolls” t-shirt in public (“Dolls” being an affectionate term of endearment that gained popularity in the New York Ballroom scene in the 1980s). 

Using an extensive or substantial platform to speak up for LGBTQIA+ rights and injustices can be really effective in terms of reaching a wide and varied audience. Other great examples of famous cis allies that have utilized their platform are people like Don Cheadle, who wore a “Protect Trans Kids” shirt on Saturday Night Live, during an increasingly dangerous climate for the LGBTQIA+ community, again particularly for trans women. Cheadle also voiced his criticism of the Trump Administration. Daniel Radcliffe, who famously played Harry Potter in the movie franchise, publicly stated that he disagrees with the Harry Potter author JK Rowling and her views on trans and non-binary individuals, stating "It's clear that we need to do more to support transgender and nonbinary people, not invalidate their identities” he also works with the Trevor Project, a charity for LGBTQ+ young people that works on suicide prevention and crisis intervention. 

Celebrities using their status to demonstrate their allyship and to advocate is a huge step forward, but there are celebrities who have gone above and beyond a t-shirt or Instagram post; Ariana Grande, regularly performs at LGBTQIA+ events, has written open letters in Billboard magazine in support of the community, and even pledged $1.5 million dollars to fight the US anti-trans bill. David Tennant (the prestigious tenth and fourteenth Dr Who) has been vocal about LGBTQIA+ rights and publicly criticised Kemi Badenoch, (the leader of the Conservative Party) whilst accepting his Celebrity Ally award. Stating that “I’m a little depressed by the fact that acknowledging that everyone has the right to be who they want to be and live their life how they want to live it as long as they’re not hurting anyone else should merit any kind of special award” and finished with “However until we wake up and Kemi Badenoch doesn’t exist anymore—I don’t wish ill of her, I just wish her to shut up—whilst we do live in this world I am honoured to receive this”Sometimes, allyship is most powerful when it humanizes the lived experiences of trans and non-binary people. In her interview with journalist and activist Paris Lees, Emma Watson reflects on transphobia, safety in public toilets, and how it feels to be excluded. Emma talks about a moment in her life when she felt “not invited”—something many people can relate to, and a powerful insight into what trans folk often face just trying to move through the world. Everyone, at some point, has felt unwelcome. The difference is that, for many trans people, that experience isn’t fleeting.

Being a cis ally doesn’t just mean being a celebrity or having a large following; allyship happens in everyday spaces, too. A caring teacher who uses inclusive language and supports their students’ chosen names and pronouns is being a cis ally. A medical practitioner who updates forms to reflect inclusive gender options and makes sure they ask—rather than assume—is being a cis ally. A family member who stands up for their loved one and makes home a safe place is being a cis ally. Colleagues and friends who add pronouns to their bios or email signatures, or who take the time to ask someone’s pronouns instead of assuming, are also playing their part. These actions may seem small, but they are powerful. When done by cis folk, they help normalize inclusion and create safer environments for everyone.

How can allies support LGBTQ rights and inclusion?

It is easy for any of us to show our support for the LGBTQIA+ community by sharing infographics, reposting articles or posts on social media, or going to party at Pride events, but being an effective ally involves more than this. 

Firstly, you can educate yourself, not only on ways to be more effective at supporting people in the community, but on LGBTQIA+ history as well. Learning about the struggles, various movements, and actions the community has been involved in will give you empathy and help you understand why being an ally is so important. It should also give you more confidence to speak up, having gained more knowledge so you can make your views and points heard with absolute conviction. The Stonewall organisation has lots of educational resources on queer history, as does The National Archives. 

It’s also okay to ask questions. Talk to LGBTQIA+ people, listen to their experiences, amplify their voices, and ask how you can support them—but do so with respect and a willingness to learn, not to debate. And as you do this work, take time to reflect on your own privilege—whether it’s your gender identity, sexuality, race, or ability. Acknowledging the ways you may move through the world with fewer barriers is a key part of understanding how to use that position to uplift others.You might also want to take political action. Support for LGBTQIA+ rights often requires active engagement with political and social systems. This can mean signing petitions, calling your representatives, participating in protests and rallies, or supporting campaigns that push for legal protections and equality. Organizations like The Trevor Project,and Lambda Legal provide ways to get involved with advocacy and legal support for LGBTQIA+ rights.

We have discussed ways on how to safely and effectively advocate and speak out against discrimination earlier in this article. But it is important to remember to raise the voices of those who face intersecting discrimination and heightened risks—such as disabled LGBTQIA+ people, Black and Indigenous folks, and other people of color, who often experience compounded injustice and violence.

Getting involved with a LGBTQIA+ group or charity by helping fundraise, donating, or even volunteering is a valuable and even rewarding way to be an ally. There are many large charities you can participate and contribute to like PFLAG, GLAAD, Stonewall, MindOut, and Switchboard LGBT. All are important and valid. But you could also consider donating your time to some of the smaller, unfunded charities. The Smiley Group has put together a list of 12 different charities to consider supporting including many that are often overlooked or underfunded. 

As an ally you can support your local LGBTQIA+ businesses. Ensuring we have queer owned businesses encourages and normalizes diversity, inclusivity, and encourages creativity. Directories such as the National LGBT Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC) and LGBTQ Friendly Directory UK  provide listings of queer-owned businesses across the U.S. and the UK, from accountants to barbershops. Some popular businesses include Toad Bakery, Queer Britain, and The Open Barbers.

The challenges of being an LGBTQIA+ ally

Being an advocate and ally can sometimes be challenging. Even if you think of yourself as a well informed person, sometimes your own internal biases might surprise you. For example if a family member, friend, or colleague comes out to you your first reaction might be shock, or you may worry you might say something awkward or wrong. As we discussed earlier, always remember to listen to the person, without judgment, and let them set the tone. If you have questions about pronouns or something you don’t understand it’s ok to ask questions! Just remember to be respectful and kind. 

Standing up for the rights and beliefs of the community can put you in situations outside of LGBTQIA+ demonstrations or arguing with online bigots. Examples might include speaking up to family members, or work colleagues who are being derogatory or misinformed about the community. These can actually be the most difficult time to speak up, as causing a conflict with your loved ones or work colleagues can have complicated consequences. But this is an important part of advocacy and allyship. Standing up for the rights and beliefs of the community can put you in situations outside of LGBTQIA+ demonstrations or arguing with online bigots. Examples might include speaking up to family members or work colleagues who are being derogatory or misinformed about the community. These can actually be the most difficult times to speak up—causing conflict with loved ones or people you rely on can have complicated consequences. But this is an important part of advocacy and allyship.

It can feel uncomfortable to challenge someone close to you, and facing backlash is never easy. But it’s worth remembering that for many LGBTQIA+ people, this kind of discomfort isn’t just occasional—it’s something they experience every day. Supporting people when they aren’t there or when it isn’t safe for them to speak up for themselves is a significant and meaningful way to help the community.

Make sure when engaging in these situations you and anyone vulnerable are safe from any potential violence. Changing people's perceptions or opinions is difficult as they may have held these beliefs for a long time, so keep calm and try to be understanding so you can be perceived as relatable. It’s important that you stick to explaining facts, as shouting out statistics won’t necessarily resonate with people, nor will being really emotional (despite how passionate you may feel!) so break down the specific issue and discuss how it may be a misconception, or how certain terms or linguistic expressions could be harmful to the community. 

Allyship is such an important part of standing up against injustice and supporting the rights of the LGBTQIA+ community. But it’s also about more than that—it’s about showing that no matter if you’re queer, trans, straight, or anywhere in between, we stand together. At the end of the day, we’re all human. We all want to feel like we belong, like we’re seen and valued for who we are. We all bleed, as the saying goes.Being a strong ally means taking intentional steps every day to support and uplift the LGBTQIA+ community. To recap, here are just some of the ways you can help make a difference:

• Learn about LGBTQIA+ history, struggles, and terminology using trusted sources, and ask respectful questions when you need to.
• Listen actively and offer non-judgmental support to create a safe space for sharing.
• Use people’s chosen names and pronouns, and practice inclusive language. If you make a mistake, accept corrections and keep learning.
• Speak up in everyday conversations with family, friends, or coworkers, even when it feels uncomfortable.
• Amplify LGBTQIA+ voices by sharing their stories instead of speaking over them.
• Get involved politically by signing petitions, supporting campaigns, and contacting representatives to push for equality.
• Support queer-owned businesses and charities by donating, volunteering, or shopping from them.
• Show up consistently and keep advocating for the LGBTQIA+ community, even when it’s challenging or inconvenient.

If you’re looking for more ways to deepen your understanding or become a more thoughtful and active ally, our glossary of terms offers clear definitions and suggests related articles that explore all corners of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum.

And if you're looking to connect with more like-minded people who share your values, downloading Feeld is a great place to start. Whether you're part of the LGBTQIA+ community or an ally, Feeld offers a space to meet others who believe in inclusion, respect, and celebrating all identities.