According to a Gallup study, as of 2024, 30% of Gen Z women now identify as LGBTQ+. The current figure is up from 5.6% four years ago and 3.5% in 2012, Gallup’s first year of measuring sexual orientation and transgender identity. Along with an increasing number of lesbians, there are also many different "types" of lesbians.
First of all, the term "lesbian" refers to women and some non-binary and gender-fluid people who are attracted to women romantically, physically, and/or sexually. There are many different expressions of the lesbian identity. The stereotypical labels of "butch" and "femme," which date back to the 1940s and ’50s still persist today, but with many subcategories to describe a number of aesthetics and cultures within the lesbian community.
So, what does it mean to be a lesbian today? How do different expressions of femininity and masculinity fit into this identity? And where should you start if you’re trying to figure out which language best describes you?
Understanding lesbian identities
Labels can be helpful for many LGBTQ+ folks, offering clarity and connection, and helping us describe who we are and who we are attracted to.
Understanding the diversity within lesbian identities is important because it fosters a sense of belonging and acceptance in the community. It allows people to see themselves reflected in the broader spectrum of queer experiences and helps challenge stereotypes and misconceptions.
Some lesbians proudly self-identify with one or more of these labels. Others might identify with some in a tongue-in-cheek way, without it being too serious. There are also those in the community who either choose not to identify or do not resonate with any labels at all. “Lesbian,” “queer,” or “gay” may resonate well enough without delving into subcategories.
The reclamation of “dyke”
The term dyke has undergone a remarkable transformation from a slur aimed at masculine-presenting lesbians to a badge of pride for many within the LGBTQ+ community. Today, identifying as a dyke often signifies a strong, unapologetic stance in relation to one's queerness, emphasizing a deep connection to a nonconformist identity that challenges traditional gender norms.
While the term can still be seen as controversial by some, for many it embodies resilience and self-empowerment. Being a dyke is about boldly embracing one’s lesbian identity, celebrating strength, independence, and a fierce sense of community. It’s a powerful declaration that rejects societal expectations and champions authenticity, allowing people to unapologetically express who they are.
Lipstick lesbian
A lipstick lesbian is someone who identifies as a lesbian, non-binary, or gender fluid person while embracing a feminine style and aesthetic. This could be wearing makeup, dresses and skirts, or having their hair and nails done—essentially expressing themselves in ways that society traditionally associated with femininity. By fully owning their feminine side, lipstick lesbians send a powerful message: you can be both feminine and queer, and both identities are equally valid and meaningful.
The term "lipstick lesbian" is often used to describe those who embody these feminine attributes, but it can also include the feminine expressions of bisexual and pansexual individuals, as well as the broader spectrum of sexual activity between feminine-presenting folks.
Chapstick lesbian
In contrast to the more well-known "lipstick lesbian," some women in the queer community have adopted and embraced another term. “Chapstick lesbians,” or chappies, tend to prefer some aspects of a masculine aesthetic—which might be interpreted as more practical or sporty—without wholly fitting into masculine stereotypes.
So what's the difference between a "chapstick lesbian" and a "soft butch"? It’s all about how people identify. Both might incorporate certain elements of masculine and feminine presentation—but a soft butch might be slightly more on the masc side, whereas a chapstick might be more neutral. Learn more about soft butches later.
Femme lesbian
Some consider “femme” interchangeable with “lipstick lesbian,” though there are some nuances.
Where a lipstick lesbian could be considered a lesbian with a hyper-feminine style and aesthetic, a femme embraces a generally feminine identity that might look slightly different for different people—and is more holistic, encompassing their mannerisms, attitudes, and experiences, too. All lipstick lesbians are likely femmes, but not all femmes are necessarily lipstick lesbians.
Femmes celebrate femininity while challenging stereotypes about womanhood within the LGBTQ+ community. Femme visibility is essential, as it promotes acceptance and recognition of the many ways to be a woman and a lesbian, highlighting that femininity can be powerful and multifaceted.
Low or lazy femme
"Low" or "lazy" femme refers to folks who identify as femme but don't conform to traditional expectations of femininity. Rather than focusing on polished looks, low or lazy femmes prioritize comfort and authenticity in their everyday lives. Their visibility is crucial in challenging the notion that femininity must fit a specific mold, reminding everyone that there's no single way to express who you are or how you feel.
Butch vs masc
Ever found yourself wondering what the difference is between "butch" and "masculine-presenting"? We're diving into some interesting territory. "Butch" usually refers to women who embrace a more masculine style and identity, and it's got a rich history within the lesbian community. On the other hand, "masculine-presenting" is a broader term that includes anyone—like non-binary folks—who presents with masculine traits. It's more about how someone expresses themselves than fitting into a specific label.
Even with these differences, you'll find that butch and masculine-presenting folks often enjoy similar styles. They both challenge traditional gender norms and help promote acceptance of diverse gender expressions.
Butch vs. stud / stud vs. butch
Butch and stud both describe people with masculine energy or aesthetics in the LGBTQ+ community, but they have different cultural meanings. Butch is primarily linked to lesbian culture and carries significant historical context, often referring to those who present themselves in traditionally masculine ways within that community.
Whereas stud is commonly used in Black and Latinx communities, encapsulating its own unique cultural flavor. Stud is racially specific because it was created by Black lesbians to differentiate their experiences from their white counterparts and express gender roles developed within the Black community.
Soft butch
A "soft butch" is someone who embodies a mix of masculine and feminine traits but generally leans toward masculinity. Unlike hard butches, soft butches might show more flexibility in their gender expression, blending traditional masculinity with softer, more fluid characteristics. Their identity is about balance—being tough but also open to vulnerability.
For soft butches, gender expression is not rigid. They navigate the world with a sense of ease, rejecting extremes and finding comfort in blending aspects of gender that feel most authentic to them.
Stone butch
Another variation of butch, "stone butch," refers to a masc lesbian who may prefer to focus on giving pleasure to their partner rather than receiving it during intimacy. This preference can reflect deeply personal aspects of their relationship to gender and touch. For many stone butches, the identity goes beyond the bedroom—it's about how they understand their role in relationships at large, and their comfort with physical boundaries.
This identity became more widely known through Leslie Feinberg's 1993 novel Stone Butch Blues, which explored the complexities of being a stone butch. It's a deeply personal and often protective way of navigating intimacy, with a focus on maintaining autonomy and respect for one's boundaries.
What’s a stone top?
A stone top can describe any person who prefers giving pleasure during sexual encounters without receiving it; they might desire little to no sexual touch or only in very specific ways with particular partners. Unlike the term stone butch, stone top isn't specifically tied to lesbian identity. Often used by queer, trans, and non-binary folks alike, it reflects gender-neutral sexual roles like top, bottom, or switch, and is common in queer BDSM or kink spaces.
Dapper butch
A "dapper butch" is someone who combines masculinity with a sense of refined, polished style. They might enjoy well-made clothing and attention to detail, but their identity is not just about appearance. Dapper butches often express their queerness through a confident, poised approach to life, valuing self-expression and pride in how they present themselves.
Historically, dapper butches draw from the tradition of dandyism, blending classic masculine traits with a queer, modern twist. If you've ever seen a butch in a crisp suit with suspenders and a bow tie, you've likely encountered a dapper butch. Dapper butches play on an old-school kind of classic masculinity that tends to involve loafers, pocket squares, and sleek ties.
Futch
"Futch" is a blend of "feminine" and "butch," encompassing folks who embody traits from both ends of the spectrum. These lesbians mix masculine and feminine expressions in their behaviors, attitudes, and interactions, comfortably navigating the space between butch and femme. Futch identity showcases the fluidity of gender expression, emphasizing that it's okay to blend identities and embrace the complexities of who we are, fostering a more inclusive environment for all.
Gold star lesbian
A gold star lesbian refers to someone who has only been romantically or sexually involved with women. While it's sometimes used lightheartedly, the term can stir debate within the community. For some, it's a point of pride to exclusively love women—and it’s been pointed out that it can bring comfort for some, particularly those with traumatic experiences around masculinity.
But others feel that it creates unnecessary hierarchies, implying that past relationships with men make someone "less" of a lesbian. Critics argue that the term can be exclusionary, overlooking the varied journeys people take in understanding their sexuality, including those who identify as bisexual or transgender. As a result, some see the label as divisive, prompting important conversations about inclusivity in the LGBTQ+ community.
Bambi
A "Bambi" lesbian is someone who prefers to express love and affection through non-sexual means, such as cuddling, kissing, hugging, and spending intimate time together. While some Bambi lesbians may identify as asexual or on the ace spectrum, not all do. This identity simply reflects how they feel most comfortable showing love, creating space for those who feel more connected through emotional and physical closeness than sexual interaction.
While these identities resonate with many queer women, you might find that none of them fully capture who you are and how you feel. If you find yourself straddling a few different lesbian identities—or none at all—or feel like your gender expression belongs in a different part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum, that's totally normal! Whether you're trans or cis, remember that no one gets to define your lesbian identity but you. It's something you decide for yourself.
Whether you're exploring your own identity, seeking to support someone else in theirs, or just generally curious, keep learning with help from Feeld's Glossary—and download the app today to meet other lesbians.
