What to know when dating someone who has a period—for those who menstruate, and those who don’t

Full Cycle is our week dedicated to exploring everything that exists at the intersection between menstruation and intimacy—from period sex, to the strengths of each cycle phase, to how science explains the ebb and flow of desire. Our contributors unlock liberating experiences, and interconnected truths shared by Feeld members. We’re asking the questions—join us. 

Periods are a part of life for billions of people. Even if you don’t experience them yourself, you probably know someone who does, whether they’re a partner, friend, or family member. Yet for something so common, they’re still considered a bit of a “taboo,” something undesirable or embarrassing (we all know someone who’s hidden a tampon up their sleeve on the way to the bathroom).

If you’re dating a person who menstruates, you may feel curious or unsure about how it feels, and how their period and its symptoms might show up in your relationship—even if you have a period yourself.

First things first: periods aren’t strange or shameful. They’re natural. Supporting your partner(s) isn’t about “putting up with it.” It’s about curiosity, care, and connection.

Maybe you’ve just started seeing someone who casually mentioned they’re on their period, maybe you’ve been together for years—or maybe you want to learn more about how menstruation influences moods, intimacy, sex, and daily life.

So let’s talk openly. Dating someone who menstruates doesn’t have to be complicated—and more knowledge can equal more meaningful connections. 

Why understanding your partner’s period matters

• Their comfort matters: cramps, bloating, headaches, or fatigue can all make even simple plans feel harder.
• Feelings may shift: hormonal changes can cause mood swings, increased sensitivity, or bursts of energy. 
• Intimacy levels can change, too: some people enjoy sex during their period, and may feel hornier than usual. Others might prefer cuddling and spooning, and some may not want to be touched at all.
• The day-to-day might look different: workouts, trips, or date nights might be affected depending on the day of the cycle.

Being aware of these things, and not taking them personally, shows that you care enough to be patient, to listen, and to support them in ways that actually help.

Common misconceptions about periods

Periods have been hidden behind euphemisms, stigma, and awkward jokes for centuries. The result is a set of misconceptions that deserve to be retired:

Periods are dirty
Menstrual blood isn’t harmful, it’s simply blood and tissue leaving the body. The idea that it’s “gross” comes from outdated stigma, not reality. 

You can’t or shouldn’t have sex on your period

Plenty of people do, and they enjoy it. Some find sex especially pleasurable during a period thanks to sensitivity and natural lubrication. Others might prefer to skip it. Either way, your preferences are valid.

You can’t get pregnant on your period

It’s less likely, but not impossible. Sperm can live for days in the body, so pregnancy can happen if ovulation follows soon after. If pregnancy isn’t part of your plans, use a form of contraception, if it’s relevant for you.

You can’t go swimming on your period

You totally can. Tampons, cups, or period-proof swimwear make it easy. And no, sharks aren’t circling you.

Everyone has painful periods

Some cycles bring mild symptoms, others bring severe pain. Assuming everyone suffers, or that no one does, erases people’s real experiences.

If you’ve had a period yourself, you already know what your partner needs

Menstruating yourself, or having dated others who do, can give you insight into what a cycle feels like. But no two periods are the same. Pain, mood, energy, and preferences for support vary from person to person, and even from one month to the next. 

How to be supportive when your partner has their period

Some people may prefer alone time, while others might crave connection. The best way to know what a partner needs from you is simple: ask them. Still, here are some things you might consider:

Keep period products at your place

If you don’t live together but your partner comes around often, it can be convenient to have period products on hand. Ask what they prefer (pads, tampons, cups, or period underwear)—this shows thoughtfulness and planning, and helps to normalize the topic between you.

Stock up on over-the-counter painkillers

Many people experience period pain, usually involving mild cramps, especially in the first day or two. For others, the pain can be much more intense. If over-the-counter pain relief like ibuprofen is safe for your partner, keep some handy at home. Simple comforts like a hot water bottle, a heating pad, or even running a warm bath can also help ease discomfort.

Leave them to it

During a person’s period, their estrogen levels dip, which can leave them feeling more tired or low on energy. All jokes aside, mood changes are common, and are a real part of how hormones can affect the body and mind. Follow your partner’s lead: sometimes that means doing very little, and that’s OK. At the same time, gentle movement can ease PMS symptoms, so you might want to join them for a walk or yoga session if they’re feeling up to it.

How to talk about periods with your partners

The simplest way is to treat periods like any other part of life—which they are. 

A casual, “How are you feeling today?” or “Would anything help you feel more comfortable?” can open up the conversation. If you’re unsure about boundaries, wants, and needs during this time (for example, around intimacy and space) then ask clear questions.

You can also mirror how your partner talks about their cycle. If they’re lighthearted, you can match that tone. If they’re more private, follow their lead while still showing openness. 

As with any intimate topic, some phrases might be worth avoiding. Dismissing your partner’s feelings by blaming them on their period is unlikely to land well. Lines like “Are you on your period?” during a disagreement or “You’re just hormonal” don’t validate, they minimize. Similarly, phrases like “You’re overreacting,” or “It can’t be that bad,” can shut down trust instead of building it.

More productive language sounds like: “I hear you,” “That sounds difficult,” or “What would help right now?” It’s not about pretending periods don’t affect emotions, it’s about treating those emotions as valid and worthy of care. For Amelia, 21, being able to talk openly about her “unbearable” and unpredictable period has been an important part of feeling supported in her relationship. “The length of my periods and the mood swings I typically get a week before are increasingly hard to manage in a relationship… [But] my partner has been really understanding of how my period affects me on a weekly basis. When I’m cramping, he’s accommodating, he’ll make me a hot drink, bring me a hot water bottle, or massage my stomach to try and soothe the pain.”

Why is my partner moody before or during their period?

Mood changes before or during a period are common, and they’re tied to hormonal shifts in the body. “During menstruation, estrogen and progesterone are at their lowest. This hormonal dip reduces dopamine and serotonin activity, which can lead to lower mood and reduced motivation,” explains Dr Elise Dallas, a GP at The London General Practice. Physical symptoms (like cramps, bloating, tender breasts, headaches, fatigue, or poor sleep) can also affect a person's mood and energy.

This is often called premenstrual syndrome (PMS). About three in four people who menstruate experience it in some form—though each cycle can vary. For most people, these symptoms typically ease within a few days of the period itself. But even small gestures—like handling dinner, offering quiet, or asking how they’d like support—can make a big difference.

As Wendy, 38, who identifies as queer, shares, “The week before is awful: bad mood, sleeping problems, sweating, getting into fights, and feeling anxious. The actual menstruation is fine—some lower back pain and cramps—but my mood gets instantly better.”


When should I worry about my partner’s period symptoms?

Some discomfort is common, but it shouldn’t stop daily life. According to the NHS, if your partner’s cramps keep them in bed, if they’re bleeding heavily enough to soak through products quickly, or if cycles feel irregular or overwhelming month after month, they may need more care.

These experiences may signal conditions like endometriosis or polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), which are often underdiagnosed. Many people with them report that their pain was dismissed as “just a bad period” for years.

For Sam, 33, who identifies as straight, those symptoms led them to the depot injection. But after coming off it, they were “bleeding pretty much constantly for nearly a year.” “It completely messed with my moods. I was tired, emotional, just drained all the time. I didn’t feel like myself at all… My partner was lovely about it, really supportive and respectful… We talked about it a lot and found other ways to be close and intimate, but it definitely put a strain on me mentally.”


“It’s so frustrating because it’s estimated PCOS and endometriosis impact roughly one in ten people, yet you have to fight so hard and really advocate for yourself,” says Megan, 30, who has both conditions. “So many people fall through the cracks and live life in unbearable amounts of pain. My advice to anyone going through it is please don’t give up; there are people out there who will believe you and take you seriously, even if that means asking for a second or third opinion. If you’re the loved one of someone who experiences issues relating to their period, give them patience and grace.”

Your role isn’t to diagnose, it’s to support, and to listen when they say something feels wrong. Follow their lead on whether they’d like to talk to a healthcare provider, and if they want company, offer to go with them. Knowing they don’t have to navigate this alone can be reassuring.

Maintaining intimacy during their period

A period doesn’t have to mean a lack of intimacy, unless that’s what your partner wants. For some people, sex during a period is a no. For others, it’s a chance to connect in a new way. Neither choice is better. What matters is comfort and communication.

“Each phase of my cycle brings a different flavor of arousal and desire,” says Nadia, 35, who identifies as straight. “Menstrual sex feels like a magnet or double magnet to the center of the earth.”

Another Feeld member, 34 and bi-curious, says: “My desire during my period may be heightened now and then. I enjoy period sex, especially since my periods are very light. We put down towels and wash off afterwards. I feel safe, respected, and desired when my partner is open to talking about menstruation, and doesn’t exhibit any feelings of disgust. I think it’s hot when they get blood on them and they’re still excited about sex.”

Of course, intimacy can be expansive beyond sex. If your partner wants to keep things low-key, there are many ways to create connection, like holding hands, sharing kisses without the pressure of it turning into more, brushing their hair, cooking a comfort meal, or simply lying together. Small gestures like these can feel deeply loving and sensual.

Is it OK to have sex during a period?

It’s perfectly fine to have sex during a period. For some, it can feel better than usual thanks to heightened sensitivity, natural lubrication, and the possibility of orgasm easing cramps. For others, it may feel more uncomfortable or painful, and they prefer to skip it—and that’s just as valid.

If you do want to explore, a few things can make it easier: talk openly about how you each feel, put a towel down, or try shower sex for simple cleanup. You might prefer to experiment with positions or different types of stimulation. If you usually use contraception, and it’s relevant for you, keep using it—pregnancy is less likely but still possible, and barriers (like condoms) can also help prevent STIs. Most importantly, keep checking in and follow what feels good for both of you.

When your partner might want space

Support may not always look like doing more. Sometimes the most caring move is to give someone space. Periods can be draining, and your partner may feel bloated, crampy, or simply not in the mood to socialize. That doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. It means they’re tuning in to what their body needs. 

The best response is not to take it personally. If they ask for quiet time or seem distant, respect that without guilt or pressure. A simple, “Let me know if you need anything,” shows you’re present without crowding them.

“I’d love for more people to understand how your mood really can change when you’re on, and that it’s not something to joke about or use as an excuse,” says Dionne, 31, who identifies as queer. “It’s a very real experience for us. I often feel hornier when I’m on—more confident, more driven. But the week before, I can feel chaotic and self-sabotagey, like everything is going wrong… Regardless of gender, I think the key to any successful relationship is being able to tell your partner when to fuck off for a bit—and it not be taken personally.”

You don’t need to focus on having all the answers— just showing up with care, asking questions, and respecting what your partner needs in the moment.

Whether you’re in the early stages of dating, have been together for years, or have multiple partners who menstruate, empathy, communication, and curiosity make every connection stronger. And what’s more attractive than knowing you can fully be yourself, and still feel desired, accepted, and cared for?

That’s the kind of openness Feeld is built around. Ready to find that kind of connection for yourself? Discover more in the app. Read more from Full Cycle.

Illustration by Lulu Lin.