Experts on the myths and truths about the menstrual cycle, hormones, and desire

How does having a period affect your (sex) life? Full Cycle is our week dedicated to exploring everything that exists at the intersection between menstruation and intimacy—from period sex, to the strengths of each cycle phase, to how science explains the ebb and flow of desire. Our contributors unlock liberating experiences, and interconnected truths shared by Feeld members. We’re asking the questions—join us. 

If you’re someone who menstruates, it likely won’t be news to you to hear that your monthly hormonal cycle has an effect on, well, nearly every aspect of life—encompassing mood, energy, pain, and, of course, desire. While many of us generally accept this waxing and waning, some of the inner workings (the why about why you feel a certain way) may still feel somewhat mystified. 

Here, we’ll cover an introduction to hormones: how they affect us, and how they can influence dating, sex, and pleasure. We’ll explore the unique gifts of each cycle phase, period myth-busting, and the importance of sharing cyclical changes with partners and friends.

Let’s break down (almost) everything you need to know about menstruation, sex, and connection—guided by expert educators. 

The menstrual cycle is more than the period

First up, the basics: People who menstruate follow a hormonal cycle that lasts around 21 to 35 days. As those days pass, sexual desire can fluctuate in a way that mirrors the naturally occurring hormonal curves—though everyone’s experience will likely look a little different. 

“The first thing to understand about the menstrual cycle is that we have these different hormones fluctuating that have different vibes and energies to them,” says Naam Bachmayer, a menstrual cycle coach also known as The Cyclical Coach. These hormones can influence a myriad of things, including energy, mood, appetite, sleep, cognition, and sexual desire, explains Dr Elise Dallas, a GP at The London General Practice.  

“Estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone fluctuate across the month,” Dr Dallas continues, “creating distinct physical and emotional phases that shape how individuals feel in their bodies and how they engage in intimacy.”

The menstrual cycle consists of four phases: menstruation (the period), follicular (after your period, maturing of the ovarian follicles), ovulation (egg is released), and luteal (preparing for a fertilized egg or menstruation if none occurred). Estrogen is the leading player in the first half of the cycle: rising slowly after menstruation into the follicular phase and peaking during ovulation. In contrast, progesterone leads the second half of the cycle, the luteal phase. 

Dr Dallas shares that these phases can be understood in relation to the four seasons:

• Winter (Menstruation): Low energy, inward focus, potential for emotional closeness.

• Spring (Follicular phase): Rising estrogen, increasing confidence, curiosity, and arousal.

• Summer (Ovulation): Peak fertility, heightened desire, increased sociability.

• Autumn (Luteal phase): Slowing down, emotional sensitivity, shifting needs in intimacy.

The hormone TL;DR: How do estrogen and progesterone affect us? 

Estrogen: Dr Dallas explains that, “As estrogen rises, so does dopamine, enhancing mood, motivation, and cognitive flexibility.” Kimberley Bron, founder of the Cosmic Club, echoes this view when explaining the follicular phase: “I always see it as the first rays of sunshine after winter. You open your window and you’re like—wait, life is starting again! I feel so reborn.” 

As estrogen peaks, “many individuals report feeling more attractive and socially bold,” Dr Dallas shares. In old-school biological terms, this seems to make sense—with menstruating bodies becoming fertile and wanting us to get out there and mate. In real-life terms today, “It can often translate into being very sexually open, being excited to meet new people, being very flirty,” says Bachmayer. Research also indicates that, as we approach ovulation, we may exhibit increased reward-seeking behavior—meaning we’re primed for goal-setting, and high-impact work and social opportunities. As Dr Dallas adds, “MRI studies show increased activity in brain regions linked to reward and social bonding, such as the amygdala and ventral striatum.” 

Progesterone, on the other hand, dominates the second half of the cycle: the luteal phase. Progesterone can be thought of as a cozy, cocooning hormone, which explains why we may feel lower energy levels and more introspection. According to Dr Dallas, “Progesterone has a calming effect on the central nervous system,” offering opportunity for inward focus and emotional closeness. This inclination for reflection and introspection is great for what Bachmayer calls our “bullshit detector,” especially when it comes to dating. 

Sex, pleasure, and success throughout the menstrual cycle 

Although there’s plenty of expert information on how desire shifts throughout the menstrual cycle, remember that your body is unique to you. Your experience may look different, you may be taking hormonal contraception, which alters your hormonal variations, or there may be other factors at play. Honor your body and celebrate your experiences. 

Here’s how you might feel your desire for sex and exploration changing throughout your cycle, how other areas of your life might be impacted, and how to navigate each phase. 

Follicular phase: energy and curiosity 

After menstruation, estrogen begins to rise as we enter the follicular phase. “This hormonal shift lifts mood, enhances cognitive function, and increases energy,” says Dr Dallas, making this an ideal time for dating, creativity, and setting intentions. In terms of sex and desire, Dr Dallas notes that you “may feel more curious, playful, and open to intimacy.”

“If you want to explore something, pre-ovulation and ovulation are such a fun time to do that,” says Bachmayer. If you’ve been wanting to try a new kink or toy, consider bringing it out during your follicular phase or setting aside time to explore it as ovulation approaches. 

Ovulation phase: exploration and confidence 

Estrogen peaks in this phase, meaning sex drive and sensitivity do too. “Arousal is heightened, and desire may be more spontaneous,” says Dr Dallas, adding that you might prefer to schedule romantic or sexual dates during this time. Bron explains how ovulation brings out more of her so-called “feral” energy: “In ovulation, I really want to devour life. I want to grab it and eat it up.” Danique Scipio, a sexual wellness coach, adds, “I love to experiment when I’m ovulating.”

During ovulation, penetration may feel different because the cervix naturally moves to a higher position. It also becomes softer and more open, with cervical mucus becoming slippery and abundant—meaning you might feel an extra layer of lubrication. 

It’s not just sex being affected. Dr Dallas explains that spikes in estrogen, testosterone, and luteinising hormone (LH) enhance “verbal articulation, social cognition, and emotional expressiveness,” making this a good time for public speaking, interviews, and networking. “You’re at your cognitive and social peak.” 

Luteal phase: connection and self-care

As progesterone increases and estrogen dips, you might feel that your desire for sex and experimentation decreases. However, “desire may be more emotionally nuanced; some prefer slower, more intimate connection,” Dr Dallas notes.

We may feel more drawn to sensual and connective practices, which vary from person to person. As Scipio shares, a practice that helps her feel connected during this phase is “shibari, because it’s like surrendering, but holding… like when it’s fall, putting on a warm sweater.” Embrace the luteal phase as an opportunity to deepen connection, in whatever form feels right for you. 

The luteal phase also calls for a redefinition of what we experience as sex and pleasure more generally. MythoSomatic Love Coach, Sophie Burns, adds, “Pleasure looks different, depending on how you feel, and the version of you that’s showing up in that phase of the cycle. And so, a pleasure practice when I’m in late luteal could just be yin yoga.” Allow the inward-turning energy of luteal to be an opportunity to tune into the desires of your body, whether sexual or not. 

Dr Dallas notes that this phase sees reduced dopamine and slower cognitive processing, with some people feeling withdrawn or irritable. “Avoid major decisions or emotionally charged conversations late in this phase,” she adds, suggesting building in structure, downtime, and self-care.

Menstruation phase: rest and reflection

“During menstruation, estrogen and progesterone are at their lowest,” Dr Dallas explains. “This hormonal dip reduces dopamine and serotonin activity, which can lead to lower mood, reduced motivation, and diminished sexual desire.” 

“Energy is typically at its lowest, and the body craves rest and introspection,” she shares, adding that decision-making and focus may be affected. “Avoid high-stakes meetings or intense social engagements. Use this phase to recalibrate and reflect.” 

In terms of sexuality, “desire may be muted, but some individuals report increased emotional closeness or a preference for nurturing touch,” Dr Dallas explains. “Period sex is such an individual choice,” Bachmayer adds. Pros range from increased lubrication and decreased cramps to a more primal feeling or sense of closeness. If you want to get into the details, we’ve got you covered with our guide to period sex.

Regardless of your choice, check in with how your body feels in response to certain sensations. As mood can change, so can perception of sensation.

Burns reminds us, “Sometimes, some phases of the cycle can be really overstimulating, and basic sensations, basic kissing, things that feel like normal, pleasant sensations can all of a sudden feel really overwhelming. It’s important to not feel bad about that, feel wrong about that, feel shame for that—but to honor it.” 

Period myth-busting

So, that’s the science behind each phase of your cycle. But what about the myths? 

Do cycles actually sync up?

One persistent claim we hear time and time again is that of our cycles syncing with menstruating friends and partners. According to Dr Dallas, research doesn’t support this one. “Large-scale studies using digital tracking have shown that any apparent synchrony is more likely due to statistical overlap than hormonal influence,” she explains, adding, “While pheromones do affect reproductive behavior in some animals, there’s no robust evidence that they influence human menstrual cycles.”

“So while it may feel like cycles are syncing, science suggests it’s coincidence rather than biology.”

Can sex kickstart your period?

“Sex can’t initiate menstruation in a hormonal sense, but it can sometimes appear to ‘bring on’ bleeding,” Dr Dallas explains. “If the uterine lining is already unstable—for example, near the end of the luteal phase—the physical stimulation of intercourse or orgasm (which causes uterine contractions) may help release menstrual blood that was already imminent. This doesn’t trigger the cycle itself, but it can accelerate the onset of visible bleeding.”

Communication with friends and partners

Creating a space to communicate your experiences with dates, lovers, partners, and friends becomes a way of honoring natural fluctuations. This can look like sharing books and using icebreakers (such as The Women’s Collective, a card game designed to help you get to know yourself and your body through conversation). Sexologist Mariana Barrios Morales shares, “What starts as something light-hearted often becomes a gateway to more meaningful dialogue. In these settings, curiosity replaces fear, and what once felt taboo transforms into openness, connection, and a sense of empowerment.”

Communicating boundary changes throughout the cycle is also important. As Burns reminds us, we learn “how to place boundaries that might not be your permanent boundaries, but may [feel best] during that phase of your cycle—because you know your body and what doesn’t feel good for you right now.” 

To delve deeper into shared experiences, take a look at our Feeld roundtable on menstruation and desire, and what to know if you’re dating someone with a period.  

Moving with the flow of your cycle

Different conditions may uniquely affect your relationship to your cycle and sexual desire—including endometriosis, PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder), which may make the luteal phase feel especially challenging, and PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), which can make cycles irregular. 

Listen to your body, be kind to yourself through the process, and consider reaching out to a medical or healthcare professional if you need assistance or support. 

Tuning into your cycle and its fluctuations can be profoundly enriching. You are the author of your own sexual world. “It [can be a] wildly more fulfilling experience to get to know your body in those different phases of the cycle, and [to] get to actually feel the texture of how your body changes,” says Burns. 

Explore, observe, and talk to your partner(s) and friends. And if you’re curious about developing a deeper connection to yourself and others, you can find what’s waiting for you on Feeld. Read more from Full Cycle.

Illustration by Lulu Lin.