“My sexual pleasure starts with myself”: Women on the realizations and reawakenings they’ve experienced on Feeld

Feeld is a place which offers a broad spectrum of possibility for connection, self-discovery, and transformative experience—the chance to unlock new depths of your own desire. Everyone’s journey is unique, and profoundly personal. 

This Women’s Month, we’re highlighting the stories of Feeld members who identify as female, sharing insights into the pivotal encounters they’ve enjoyed as a result of their exploration on (and off) the app—from identity shifts, to life-affirming realizations, and simply pure pleasure. 

What’s a significant realization or reawakening you’ve experienced as a result of your exploration on Feeld? Tell us the story, and how it’s shaped your journey…

“Fully realizing my queer identity post divorce.”—Erin, 44, bi woman.

“It made me realize I can be in charge of my sexuality and encounters with confidence.”—Melinda, 50, female, pansexual.

“That my sexual pleasure starts with myself. Loving myself, being with myself, being comfortable in my own skin, able to let go and be fully present in my body.”—JC, 27, female, bisexual.

“I have realized I have the capacity for more. I can have more partners and not feel spread thin. I can care for more people and not feel like I’m being divided. I have met and connected with people different from me and it has been amazing. My life is richer for it.”—Jenn, 40s, female, bi/pan.

“I have met so many incredible people on Feeld, and my ideas on monogamy and relationships have changed significantly. I was in a 15-year long monogamous relationship—through meeting people on Feeld I have been able to explore my sexuality and kinks and have discovered so much about myself and what a potential future relationship could look like.”—Kelly, 36, heteroflexible woman.

“I realized I’m not actually ‘too much.’ I just need people who can meet me at my depth and intensity. I realized how much I value spaces where power, gender, and desire are actually discussed instead of just unconsciously acted out. It’s hard to go back to autopilot after that.”—Shaina, 32, female, queer.

“I met my wonderful primary partner at a Feeld event almost 5 years ago. Despite always being open/ENM, I've been able to explore more with a like-minded partner that I feel safe with. Further, on one hand I'm kinkier than I realized, and yet [I] have leaned more monogamish here. Lately, I have a higher need for emotional exclusivity and a much lower need for sexual exclusivity. It's always evolving, and sometimes it's scenario- or person-specific.”—Mah, 45, bisexual.

“I realized for the first time in a queer connection, after so many years of heterosexual relationships, that I kinda prefer being the peg.”—anon, 21, pansexual, non-binary, genderfluid.

“The desire to explore and focus on my submissive side instead of consistently being dominant.”—Aubrey, 30, woman, lesbian.

“Being open to being sexually explorative or just meeting new friends has given me a different perspective on life. It’s been fun!”—Reese, 34, female, bisexual. 

“Feeld has not only helped me step into my power as a woman, but has opened my eyes to different forms of love and connection! I’ve met one of my closest friends here, and he has introduced me to the poly community. I am still learning what I’m personally open to, but my gosh has it expanded my definition and understanding of love and friendship. I’ve also grown more confident in exploring the things that turn me on sexually, with no shame attached. I love how freeing and encouraging this experience has been.”—Ash, 33, she/her, heterosexual/bi-curious.

“A significant realization was how much I was into threesome dynamics. I love how it feels to be with a couple and/or with 2 other people. The dynamics not only are spicy but post-play the aftercare and conversations outside of sexual situations are so nice to have. I'm learning how having a partner who is into this dynamic is something that I crave when seeking long-term/serious relationships.”—Maria, 29, female, bi.

“That I enjoy submission. I met dominant-leaning men with overlapping kinks and I tapped into my subspace. I have enjoyed so much non-verbal communication. I have loved letting go and being under the spell of a man. I've loved being devoured. I've loved a little bit of pain inflicted on me and when I was taken care of after.”—Badmaash, 33, female, heteroflexible. 

“I am no longer gay… I have tremendous desire for cis men and the men of Feeld are really rising to the occasion.”—Sarah, 42, female, queer.

“Since I started having sex, I've had this desire to make out in a sex party around other people. I met a guy on Feeld that brought me to one of those parties, and it was even better than I imagined it.”—Giovanna, 29, female, bisexual.

“F​​eeld experiences have reaffirmed my belief that we’re all happier when a little bit gay.”—Luna, 34, female, queer.

“I went on a first date with a guy I met on Feeld… He told me that he was a pleasure Dom, and asked if I knew what that was. I shook my head ‘yes’ excitedly… When we were chatting on the couch we had talked about what we liked in bed and I had mentioned that I love praise and edging, and how past partners didn’t really want to explore that with me, so I felt so far very sexually unfulfilled. This man had listened to everything I had said and done everything to me that I had mentioned I liked. From biting to praise to squeezing and pressure, it all felt so good. He tied up my legs and began eating me out… It was such an amazing orgasm and I hadn’t felt like that in maybe, [for]ever! I was then overwhelmed with emotions of joy. I was so happy that I was finally experiencing sex the way I wanted to and not feeling like a burden. I honestly almost wanted to cry because it was such a beautiful experience. I went to the bathroom a bit later and couldn’t stop smiling at the experience I had just had. I felt like I was going through this new era of womanhood through exploring my sexuality and in a way growing up. Taking control of what I wanted and getting it! I was so happy and I’ll always remember that moment as a peak experience within my journey of sexual exploration.”—Nicole, 25, female, bisexual.

“I am polyamorous as hell and there’s absolutely nothing wrong or abnormal about it.”—anonymous, 26, woman (?), bisexual.

“Feeld helped me realize that there's a very comfortable, inclusive community that would take me in no matter what I wanted. I'm so grateful for the people I've met through this app and the events I've attended organized by Feeld.”—Katelyn, 30, bi, female.

“I [connected] with someone on Feeld that made me realize I didn’t have to just give to enjoy the experience. We met up and not only did he make me feel safe but also beautiful and seen. He brought me pleasure to a level that I didn’t think was possible and consistently does this over and over without making me feel like I owe him something because we are meeting. I give him pleasure but it’s never expected and it doesn’t feel owed. I feel seen, honored, appreciated, and I never knew I could experience this casually without drama or trauma.”—J, 36, female, bi-curious.

“The usage of toys, my submissive side.”—Daniela, 40, female, straight. 

“That I might be attracted also to women.”—anon, 29, woman, heterosexual (maybe flexible).

“I've had several realizations since joining Feeld, including that sex can be fun. I was in a marriage where I was incredibly repressed and sex had become a chore. I hated every aspect of it. I've rediscovered pleasure-—my own and my partners’. I have also realized that not all guys only think of themselves. My ex was very focused on making sure he felt good and didn't really care about my feelings—both in and out of the bedroom. It has been amazing to reconnect with others on a variety of levels and know that all of our wants/needs are important.”—Jess, 47, female, heteroflexible.

“Well, I'll start by saying that I had a stroke last year, and I turned 40 last year. Those things combined made me realize that I was tired of "not living," and really started me on this journey.”—Candace, 40, female, heterosexual (mostly).

“Sex and dating can actually be really fun with more direct communication/intentions. It’s a lot easier to find connections that I align with when there’s an expectation of being direct or upfront.”—Nao, 24, woman, straight. 

“I have ventured into the world of kink and really discovered who I am. I’ve also wondered for a long time if I am bi or pan but, from dating different people, I’ve learnt it really is just about the connection I have with someone, so I love identifying as pan.”—Lu, 31, woman, pansexual.

“I’ve realized there is still so much to learn from experiences with others about my sexuality and my interests. Each interaction I have with a different person teaches me something about how to create physical connection with another.”—Katy, 47, female, straight. 

Curious about the spectrum of connection and self-discovery waiting for you? Unlock more about yourself, and your desires, on Feeld.